“RAY THE DUST” FINALLY CRACKS !!
Fading pub singer “Ray the Dust” has been spotted in a local hostelry looking dazed and confused whilst seated in a quite corner of the pub.
The sad ex crooner, had a glazed look in his eyes and had placed a soiled handkerchief upon his thinning scalp. This attempt to hide his receding hairline, mirrors recent disastrous attempts at colouring his hair and the failed experiment of thickening his thatch with gluttonous amounts of hair gel.
The mental state of the Dust has been worrying his refuse collection colleague and buddy, the miniscule but overweight “Pepe Le Puke” for some time. His views have recently been made known to the “Duck Flat Cap society”, who have been monitoring the situation on a weekly basis.
It is thought that the final straw for the "Dust" was the recent realisation that he was not going to sing at the forthcoming Royal Wedding, and that previous delusions that he as to attend were all in his alcohol fuddled mind.
Medical reports suggest that a prolonged stay at a mental asylum may be the only cure for the overweight befuddled buffoon, and it is rumoured that appropriate accommodation has been located at a coastal location on the "costa del crime" in south east Spain, and his safe removal to this destination is thought to be in course.
Further details will be released as soon as an updating report is received from the Spanish Mental Health authorities.
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