DRIVER CHARD IN BREXIT ULTIMATUM
Driver Chard, the diminutive but headstrong ex-President of the Duck Flat Cap Society has demanded a new kind of BREXIT, in which the districts of Harrow Weald and Belmont, which are located in the London Borough of Harrow, secede from the United Kingdom and join a customs and political union with Prussia.
Even after it has been explained to the octogenarian potentate that Prussia ceased to exist in 1918, he demands that the districts are immediately removed from all current Brexit negotiations and expediently depart the constrains of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
The elderly statements threatens that he will withdraw the payment of his council tax if his demands are not met.
He has further stated that he will refrain from his duties as a "Gentleman Imbiber and Defender of the Faith" if his ultimatum is not met in full within forty eight hours.
In an additional outburst the former trade union oligarch has indicated that he wishes Little Legs Parkes to be the premier of the new breakaway state, with the position of foreign secretary taken up by Barry the gravedigger.
However, this agreement would be subject to Little Legs Parkes changing his name to "Little Legs Metternich", and Barry the Gravedigger to "Bismarck the Gravedigger".
The remaining executive positions of the fledgling state would be decided by a "peoples vote" or plebiscite, with voting restricted to residents aged over the age of sixty.
However , the short list of acceptable candidates would consist of existing members of the Duck Flat Cap Society "Imbibing and Procrastinating" sub-committee and affiliated officers.
More to follow after an extraordinary meeting of the DFCS IP sub committee, that takes place at a secret location on a date to be confirmed.
To be continued............
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
Driver Chard, the diminutive but headstrong ex-President of the Duck Flat Cap Society has demanded a new kind of BREXIT, in which the districts of Harrow Weald and Belmont, which are located in the London Borough of Harrow, secede from the United Kingdom and join a customs and political union with Prussia.
Even after it has been explained to the octogenarian potentate that Prussia ceased to exist in 1918, he demands that the districts are immediately removed from all current Brexit negotiations and expediently depart the constrains of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
The elderly statements threatens that he will withdraw the payment of his council tax if his demands are not met.
He has further stated that he will refrain from his duties as a "Gentleman Imbiber and Defender of the Faith" if his ultimatum is not met in full within forty eight hours.
In an additional outburst the former trade union oligarch has indicated that he wishes Little Legs Parkes to be the premier of the new breakaway state, with the position of foreign secretary taken up by Barry the gravedigger.
The remaining executive positions of the fledgling state would be decided by a "peoples vote" or plebiscite, with voting restricted to residents aged over the age of sixty.
However , the short list of acceptable candidates would consist of existing members of the Duck Flat Cap Society "Imbibing and Procrastinating" sub-committee and affiliated officers.More to follow after an extraordinary meeting of the DFCS IP sub committee, that takes place at a secret location on a date to be confirmed.
To be continued............
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
