APOCALYPSE BANANA
Lord Loafington stretched out his feet in front of the burning hearth, and twiddled his moustache.
Burning coals slowly tumbled and cracked in the open hearth, as they exuded their gaseous ether. Streaks of blue and yellow light flashed through the flames as Loafington feet warmed to the ambient heat. Hands placed firmly on his chest, and smiling with a ferocious grin he slowly dozed off to sleep.
However, his slumber was quickly abated as glass shattered in the window pane and fell abruptly to the lushly carpeted floor. Waking with as start, Loafington turned his neck and blurry eyes to the source of the commotion. A large brick wrapped in newspaper and tied in a sinuous knot lay before him.
Noticing immediately that the newspaper was the Telegraph and not he Times, his first reaction was that the offending article had been thrown by a dissenting tenant of his vast estate. Unfurling the paper he quickly noticed that a copy of the North Allerton Gazette was also encompassing the missile.
Recent rent rises had enraged many in the village, and in particular the white collared element who had been hit by higher increases.
At the local hostelry a recent meeting had been attended by dissatisfied members of the local solicitors office, the villages dentist and apothecary and also the veterinary surgeon, at which much dissent was shown towards Lord Loafington.
The source of this outrage was not only the rent rises, but the new imposition of the title Banana, to all who approached the Lord. The level of betrayal and dissatisfaction was heightened by the recent events surrounding Loafington's recent dismissal and loss of commission from the Cavalry division of the Kings Mechanised Imbibing Battalion.
To be continued.....
