RAY THE DUST IN CLIMATE CHANGE OUTRAGE

                                 RAY THE DUST IN CLIMATE CHANGE OUTRAGE

Ex-part-time refuse collector and failed karaoke singer, Ray the Dust, has outraged society by alleging that Global warming is not taking place, and that the recent severe global weather has been caused by an increase in flatulence and "following through", in the third world.

Ray the Dust’s statement was made after receiving confirmation that his employers have finally won their legal battle to dismiss him from his position as a part time refuse collector, due to his continued use of Rohipnal and  other drugs to combat his rapid onset of Mad Albert disease and non-ferrous erectile dysfunction.

The failed womaniser and ladies’ man originally picked up a taste for Rohipnal when he was a regular member of the seedy karaoke circuit, was often picked up by gay crooners who would administer the class one drug to the Dusts alcoholic beverage before taking advantage of his overweight carcass in the filthy club toilets used as changing rooms. Indeed, his later narcolepsy is a medical throwback to his dependence on the date rape drug. 

On a recent visit to Spain, a sloth like Ray the Dust noticed a number of articles in old copies of Sunday supplements and immediately ranted that the third worlds over indulgence in the eating of spicy foods was the prime reason for recent wild fluctuations in the world’s climate. Indeed, he further proposed hat “El Nino” should now be known as “El Farto” due to the increase in methane released in to the atmosphere due to farting peasants and farmers throughout the third word and in particular Barrow in Furness.

Northern agitator and ex school master, Dave the Teach, has expressed his disdain for the elephantine ex refuse truck drivers comments, and has stated that in view of his slander of Barrow In Furness, he will ensure that the Dust will never again sing in the clubs and bars of the north, including Cumbria, Lancashire and the Borders. However, in view of his hatred of Yorkshire, the Dust will not be blacklisted in that shire.

In view of the above, the "Karaoke and Methane" sub-committee of the Duck Flat Cap society are to debate theses matters at the forthcoming Xmas dinner and orgy, and will invite the ailing and infirm former President and Chairman, Driver Chard of El Duiff to preside at the proceedings.

Further details in due course.

R.I.P   JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020