“BASHER” HURLEY TO CHALLENGE “TIGER” CHAPMAN

“BASHER” HURLEY TO CHALLENGE “TIGER” CHAPMAN

 

Former military hard man and resurgent sexologist, “Basher” Hurley, has stunned the Duck Flat Cap Society (DFCS) by laying down the gauntlet to master golf strategist and fellow ladies man, Dean “Tiger” Chapman.

“Basher” Hurley who has recently undertaken a triple bypass operation and penile extension, has recently been involved in a heated debate with Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff considering the golfing techniques and handling skills of former Brent & Middlesex number one, Dean “Tiger” Chapman. 

Driver Chard is of the opinion that Tiger Chapman was just a flash in the pan, and that he was no way near a skillful with a club as former golfing great Ben Hogan or “Chelsea” Dave the Duck.  Indeed, Driver Chard has often turned up for full committee meetings dressed from head to toe in clothing that Ben Hogan would have extremely familiar with as he strode the links of St Andrews and the manicured lawns of Augusta.

  Returning to Tiger Chapman, Driver Chard as usually the case, had become extremely confused, and mistakenly believed that he should refrain from the game of golf and return to his former job of advertising petrol, by extolling that motorists should put a Tiger in their tanks ! 

Basher Hurley deeply disagreed with this assessment, although agreed that his own grip, unlike Tiger Chapman or his name sake Tiger Woods, was somewhat similar to Ben Hogan’s, especially when caressing the shank prior to proceeding to place his ball in the hole after ringing the cup.

So as to try and prove his point, Basher Hurley has e mailed Tiger Chapman challenging him to 72 holes in Benidorm, Spain, with Driver Chard as witness, Golf Buggy driver and scorecard marker.

It is proposed that Chelsea Dave the Duck would caddy with Barry Duck assisting by cleaning the players balls as the games progress.

The golf play would be accompanied by 3 nights of debauchery in the bars and night clubs of Benidorm, and additional bonus points would be awarded for securing a hole in one during an evenings play. Further bonus points would be awarded for speed of completing the course and for adding back spin to the balls whilst attempting short holes with lots of tangled undergrowth, and without much room to manoeuvre the shaft.   

 The choice of venue being close to Basher Hurly’s heart and indeed other parts of his anatomy, due to previous unblemished stroke play and regular uninterrupted putting, during earlier trips to the dark and seedy enclave of Benidorm, which is frequented by British ex. patriots and criminals, such as the notorious failed karaoke singer and dust cart operative, Ray the Dust.

Ray the Dust, who has recently been on the Costa Del Crime trying to negotiate a contract to perform with Sticky Vicki, has also expressed a wish to take place in the crunch golfing and debauchery challenge and has offered to caddy and act as general man servant and dogs body for Tiger Chapman.

This offer has not as yet been taken up by Tiger Chapman, as it is believed he wishes to be accompanied by his occasional drinking partner "Little Legs" Parks, due to his local knowledge of the brothels and general underworld of the Cost Del Crime.

A final decision on the location and the members chosen to assist the combatants of the proposed golfing and debauchery mission, will be made at the next session of the full  Duck Flat Cap Society Imbibing and Golf committee.