THE RENUNCIATION OF FERNANDO GOMEZ
Fernando Gomez was born in a New York slum and spent the first sixteen years of his life living in a one room apartment with no heating and no running water. Sanitation was non existent, with excrement piled in heaps across the rooms fetid floor.
Fernando Gomez was born in a New York slum and spent the first sixteen years of his life living in a one room apartment with no heating and no running water. Sanitation was non existent, with excrement piled in heaps across the rooms fetid floor.
It was alleged, but never substantiated or proved, that his father was allegedly, no other than the twin brother of the great Mario Lanza, Raymondo Roymondo Lanza, who after a heavy night on black tar heroin or Golden Brown, had slept with a Brooklyn hooker inseminating her with his Italian seed, and leaving her with ruptured ear drums from his constant rendition of Italian Opera and Mac the Knife.
Fernando did not attend school and by the age of sixteen was a streetwise pervert with a penchant for bad smelling feet and Parmesan cheese. By begging and stealing he managed to maintain a low level drug habit, and had been dependent on crack cocaine from the age of ten. His nose was destroyed by his constant sniffing of butane gas and toilet cleaner, and his veins were non existent through the injection of crack cocaine direct in to his bloated body.
One wet New York morning Fernando slipped on to a metro train and disembarked on the lower west side, adjacent to the river Hudson. His next step was to stow away on the packet steamer S.S Croydon, and was soon slipping unnoticed by all and sundry in to Southampton docks, Hampshire England.
He soon realised that his name would be unsuitable in his new English surroundings, and remembering where he boarded the ship, being the River Hudson, decided to adopt the surname of Hudson. To further enhance his chance of not being detected in the UK he also changed his first name to Raymondo.
Thus Raymondo Hudson was born, and he began his slow rise through the layers of society until he reached the dizzy heights of Master Waste disposal Operator, and sombalistic part time karaoke singer and drunk.
The rest is well documented and the subject of various other posts. !
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