FIRST LORD OF THE DUCK ON TRUMPED UP RACIAL ABUSE CHARGE

                                                        
    FIRST LORD OF THE DUCK ON TRUMPED UP RACIAL ABUSE CHARGE



Esteemed acting chairman and life president of the Duck Flat Cap Society,Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, has been the subject of severe character assassination of late, due to ridiculous alleged  accusations of a racist nature.

These insidious allegations have been made by the semi literate and permanently inebriated part time ambulance operative "Mad Malcolm of the Duck", who delivered his obnoxious allegations to the golfing sub committee on Monday evening.      

Driver Chard of course  refutes these vile accusations and has stated that any conversation between the two individuals would have been during a fag break at the Duck, and as conventionally and internationally agreed, off the record.

It has long been known that "Mad Malcolm of the Duck" suffers from delusions of grandeur and is known by all the regulars as being in a constant state of inebriation. His highly aggravating and unsocial trade mark howl and guffaw of a laugh is reportedly copyrighted, although this is yet to be proven in court.   

The unsubstantiated allegations of racial abuse  that have been advance against Driver Chard are believed to be linked to a conversation between former military hard man "Basher Hurley" and Driver Chard  regarding  the Chards illustrious ancestor "Lt John Chard V.C. who survived the "Siege of Maffaking", Isandlwana and the famous stand off against the Zulu hoard at "Rorke's Drift".

It is alleged that Basher Hurley made a disparaging remark regarding the Zulu natives who advance against the British Army, resplendent in their Red Coats and armed with Rifles and cannon, with nothing but spears and shields. In response the Chard jumped to his feet and spluttering expletives allegedly stated that "those Bantu boys fought like Hottentots on fire and were as brave as my old dog nipper".

The ignorant "Mad Malcolm" forgetting that in England during the greater part of the 20th century, and in particular during the war years, "Nipper" was  a popular name for black dogs, and commonly used with no racial undertones.  It was of course in this context that Driver Chard chose to name his dog. 

Most famously, it was the name of a black labrador retriever dog belonging to Wing Commander Guy Gibson, and mascot of the RAF 617 squadron.

Returning to the bar area, Mad Malcolm began to spread malicious rumours to the effect that Driver Chard was conducting himself in an ungentlemanly manner and spouting racial obscenities.   

The matter was immediately discussed by representatives of the Duck Flat Cap Society and the pub management, and it was agreed that the matter would be placed on the back burner until a full meeting of the DFCS ethical and consumption committee at the end of the month.