POPE "JOHN SMITH'S I" - DRIVER CHARD IN PAPAL BID
Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, acting president and chairman of the Duck Flat Cap Society has arranged to have his name added to the list of candidates to be considered by the up and coming Papal Conclave.
The Cardinals of the Conclave have reluctantly accepted the addition of his name to the list in view of a remarkable miracle conducted by Driver Chard whilst serving in North Africa.
The miracle was reported to have happened when Driver Chard was able to refill the radiator of his army land rover when it broke down in the western desert, even though there were no remaining supplies of water.
Witnesses at the time proclaimed that the miniature driver simply stood facing the engine with his back to the audience and after fiddling with his trousers for a couple of minutes and remaining bolt upright and whistling for a couple of minutes, and shaking his unseen hands in front of him for a few swift seconds, the radiator was sufficiently full to enable the continuation of the journey.
Driver Chard has adopted the title "John Smith I" in view of his favourite tipple and its helpfulness in performing his "miracle in the desert" and has the full backing of the Papal sub committee of the Duck Flat Cap Society.
Details of this audacious attempt to become the next Bishop of Rome will be detailed here in due course.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, acting president and chairman of the Duck Flat Cap Society has arranged to have his name added to the list of candidates to be considered by the up and coming Papal Conclave.
The Cardinals of the Conclave have reluctantly accepted the addition of his name to the list in view of a remarkable miracle conducted by Driver Chard whilst serving in North Africa.
The miracle was reported to have happened when Driver Chard was able to refill the radiator of his army land rover when it broke down in the western desert, even though there were no remaining supplies of water.
Witnesses at the time proclaimed that the miniature driver simply stood facing the engine with his back to the audience and after fiddling with his trousers for a couple of minutes and remaining bolt upright and whistling for a couple of minutes, and shaking his unseen hands in front of him for a few swift seconds, the radiator was sufficiently full to enable the continuation of the journey.
Driver Chard has adopted the title "John Smith I" in view of his favourite tipple and its helpfulness in performing his "miracle in the desert" and has the full backing of the Papal sub committee of the Duck Flat Cap Society.
Details of this audacious attempt to become the next Bishop of Rome will be detailed here in due course.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
Well he meets the age requirement judging by his face. He's he ever tried turning his piss into wine? That could clinch it for him.
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