DUCK FLAT CAP SOCIETY AND BOHEMIAN LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN TO SEND A JOINT TASK FORCE TO THE FALKLAND ISLANDS

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Duck Flat Cap Society and Bohemian League of Gentlemen to send joint task force to the Falkland Islands

Unsubstantiated reports indicate that in view of the increased hostility shown towards the Falkland Islanders by South American governments in 2012, it was alleged that a joint expeditionary force was to be dispatched by the DFCS and BLOG to defend the sovereignty of the islands.

After protracted discussions the joint chief of staff, Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, allegedly authorised the departure of a military naval and airborne task force to convey a detachment of DFCS and BLOG volunteers to the far flung archipelago and outpost of British colonial rule.

The joint task force also received support from various affiliates, including the “Ecky Thump Brigade” based in north western England. This affiliate is headed by the strong minded ex Teacher. “Dave the Teach”, and will support the joint task force by sending a number of war hardened ex military hard man, trained by his compatriot sexologist and triple heart bypass survivor, Basher “Rasta man” Hurley.

In 2012 it was alleged that a recently intercepted dispatch from G.C.H.Q allegedly stipulates that the joint military venture has been sanctioned by the British Government, the UN and NATO. This is yet to have been verified by an official release, although unconfirmed additional intercepted ciphers from the State intelligence services of former Cold War enemy’s of the west, allegedly confirm the legitimacy of the reports. 

At the North London base of the joint command, Driver Chard had assumed the rank of Field Marshall, and donned the appropriate uniform, which was adorned with medals from his previous military service in Egypt and North Africa.

He off course continued to wear his Fulham FC shirt, shorts and socks and suspenders under his uniform, and placed a tin whistle between his cracked lips in case of foul play and any infringements during rumbustious committee meetings.

 

 However, he refused access to military uniforms and regalia to the remainder of the high command, as he felt that this would undermine his authority. He did however allow the wearing of standard issue flat caps and if requested a fully functional Deerstalker will be tolerated. Pork pie hats together with any form of Russian or eastern European winter gear will not be allowed at any cost, together with any form of sombrero.

This was  unsuccessfully challenged at a full meeting of the full Duck Flat Cap and BLOG military invasion and occupation sub committee, which was attended by all personnel. In this respect, Basher Hurley informed the high command that he was to seek special privileges and wear the uniform of the SAS in view of his previous brief spell as a latrine cleaner when sharing accommodation in Naples, Italy. This request was approved by a split vote and a small bribe.

It is of a more disturbing note that Pepe le Puke and Ray the Dust  informed various cohorts that they were to seek permission to wear the uniform of the Nazi Waffen SS, as they are drawn to the high decorative detail of the epaulets and cuffs, and are divinely in love with the dagger and death head motifs.
     

In addition to the DFCS faction within the alliance, The Bohemian

League of Gentleman (BLOG)  also debated how best to support the action from their home base in Metroland.

 Unlike the DFCS, there was no problem with a uniform for the BLOG defense Corp, as they were unanimous in agreeing to orange and purple fatigues, utility belt and thigh high rubber Doctor Martins. In addition an 18 inch rubber truncheon is worn down the front of the trousers at all times. 

For a number of months the Imbibing and procrastinating wing of BLOG had been preparing for the conflict, and had indeed been conducting increasingly intense military strategy by out maneuvering the odious entity known as Big Bad Bobbidy Bob, in particular, by constantly uprooting their Headquarters and re locating to a safe location.  

The groups special representative for political and metaphysical affairs, Lord Louis Loafington Smythe – Barron, was in the forefront with regards to home security, and arranged for a fully mechanised Camel division to be on standby at all times.

This magnificent effort was supported by the Mossenelle who in his capacity as an ex East German spy has been in the forefront in arranging the deciphering of the encrypted messages detailed earlier in this report.      

Indeed together with Boozy Creed,  Tony the Angel Italian Stallion, Chairman Get Carter and Big Marty Blainster, the Mosenelle had formed a deep relationship with the intelligence unit attached to the DFCS, and previous work on the Big Bad Bobbidy Bob affair had meant that deciphering the codes had been an easy task.

 

 It is further believed that the secret listening station based in Port Stanley had already been in receipt of deciphered codes intercepted back at the Metroland and Duck operational headquarters.

The diminutive Sapper Cox was excused from this task, as he had been acting a batman and personal aide to Winny WWB Brownoski. 

Brownoski had himself been tasked with creating a spectacular and magnificent marching rhythm for the group to accompany a swift advance through occupied territory if the Special Forces were required to go behind enemy lines.

 As tension rose, a decision on an embarkation date  was required , but was eventually deferred due to political maneuvering and further bribes. A full meeting of the joint heads of staff and their full military command  was held shortly, at which time all military operations were put on hold.

 A full updating report will be posted in due course.