E.COLI OUTBREAK TRACED TO "PEPE LE PUKE'S" SOILED UNDERPANTS
Tests conducted by the scientific and micro biology section of the Duck Flat Cap Society, have allegedly traced a deadly new E. Coli strain to a discarded pair of soiled undergarments belonging to the overweight and vertically challenged, Pepe Le Puke.
The offending boxer shorts were allegedly discovered in Hamburg , Germany, and were easily identified to be those of the diminutive balding refuse collector by the name sewn in to the waistband. If this evidence was not enough, a pair of his mittens, again with his name tag attached were found adjacent to the blood, shit and puss stained underpants.
It is known that Pepe Le Puke had recently absconded from work, supposedly for a day at the Epsom Races with the aging and over weight failed pub singer Ray the Dust.
However, it can now be revealed that the pair of over sexed reprobates actually boarded the 6.30am Eurostar from St Pancreas, arriving at Bruge in Belgium approximately 2 hours later. From Bruge, the reprobate garbage collectors travelled by local train to Hamburg where Ray The Dust made yet another sad and unsuccessful attempt to return to the Karaoke stage.
Alas, the two latter day Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum look a like's were soon in a semi conscious state due to over indulgence of numerous large Pernod's and blackcurrant and litres of Kronenbourg lager, and helped down with a fair helping of apple strudel, wieners and sauerkraut.
Soon the pair were drunkenly crawling along the Reeperbahn, frequenting the seedy establishments that are known only to well by our refuse collecting duo. Soon they were both unconscious, and it is now believed that after a particularly large helping of sauerkraut and spicy German sausage, Pepe Le Puke shat his load, completely destroying his pair of "Mr Bean" underpants. Before long the revolting smell emanating from the crestfallen due alerted the staff who unceremoniously ejected the two from the strip club.
A number of hours later, Pepe Le Puke, came round laying against the cartons and crates from an adjacent greengrocers, and thinking the crates were discarded, stuffed his soiled boxers in to the green leaves located in the crates. However, these crates of vegetables and salad leaves were not to be discarded and soon they were allegedly being delivered to various outlets throughout northern Germany.
Thus the green leaved vegetables and salad content were allegedly contaminated with the E Coli that had previously been living in the revolting digestive gut of Pepe Le Puke.
Further tests are being carried out as we speak, and only time can tell if the E Coli will ever be re united with the large welcoming belly of Pepe Le Puke.
Tests conducted by the scientific and micro biology section of the Duck Flat Cap Society, have allegedly traced a deadly new E. Coli strain to a discarded pair of soiled undergarments belonging to the overweight and vertically challenged, Pepe Le Puke.
The offending boxer shorts were allegedly discovered in Hamburg , Germany, and were easily identified to be those of the diminutive balding refuse collector by the name sewn in to the waistband. If this evidence was not enough, a pair of his mittens, again with his name tag attached were found adjacent to the blood, shit and puss stained underpants.
It is known that Pepe Le Puke had recently absconded from work, supposedly for a day at the Epsom Races with the aging and over weight failed pub singer Ray the Dust.
However, it can now be revealed that the pair of over sexed reprobates actually boarded the 6.30am Eurostar from St Pancreas, arriving at Bruge in Belgium approximately 2 hours later. From Bruge, the reprobate garbage collectors travelled by local train to Hamburg where Ray The Dust made yet another sad and unsuccessful attempt to return to the Karaoke stage.
Alas, the two latter day Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum look a like's were soon in a semi conscious state due to over indulgence of numerous large Pernod's and blackcurrant and litres of Kronenbourg lager, and helped down with a fair helping of apple strudel, wieners and sauerkraut.Soon the pair were drunkenly crawling along the Reeperbahn, frequenting the seedy establishments that are known only to well by our refuse collecting duo. Soon they were both unconscious, and it is now believed that after a particularly large helping of sauerkraut and spicy German sausage, Pepe Le Puke shat his load, completely destroying his pair of "Mr Bean" underpants. Before long the revolting smell emanating from the crestfallen due alerted the staff who unceremoniously ejected the two from the strip club.
A number of hours later, Pepe Le Puke, came round laying against the cartons and crates from an adjacent greengrocers, and thinking the crates were discarded, stuffed his soiled boxers in to the green leaves located in the crates. However, these crates of vegetables and salad leaves were not to be discarded and soon they were allegedly being delivered to various outlets throughout northern Germany.
Thus the green leaved vegetables and salad content were allegedly contaminated with the E Coli that had previously been living in the revolting digestive gut of Pepe Le Puke.
Further tests are being carried out as we speak, and only time can tell if the E Coli will ever be re united with the large welcoming belly of Pepe Le Puke.
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