CANNIBALISM OUTRAGE AT DOWNTON GATHERING OF THE BAXTER CLAN
At the recent Baxtorian Clan gathering and garden party held in the delightful small New Forest village of Downton, an outrage is believed to have befallen former friend of the family, " Fat Wallet" Elliott.
Although invited to the tribal gathering, his supposed non arrival caused a stir throughout the mitorian hoard who had descended to the temporary encampment in the gardens of the palatial Palfryman - Baxtorion Villa.
A casual stroll through the stately gardens revealed a variety of groupings engaged in voracious conversation, whilst imbibing in a truly magnificent manner. Indeed the overflowing drinking horn was abundant in each and every corner of the magnificently appointed stately grounds. However, the most striking sight to befall the casual observer was the "Hog Roast" set up towards the rear of the section of garden laid to lawn.
The large electronic spit was slowly revolving enabling the large decapitated "Hog" to cook in an even and thorough manner, with the grease and flat steadily dripping in to the strategically placed fat trays below the unfortunate beast. However, not noticed to many was a trail of coins leading back to the fenced area that divided the garden from the holiday camp situated behind the Palfryman - Baxter villa.
These coins abruptly stopped by the fence, although a closer look revealed that an empty wallet, of large size and obviously stretched through holding a large wedge of notes, lay just the other side of the fence. Further more, just a couple of feet further in to the undergrowth were the crumpled remains of a tee shirt and jeans, together with soiled undergarments and rubber Jesus sandals. Indeed the clothing usually worn by the balding and overweight Fat Wallet.
Unknown to the boisterous crowd enjoying the hospitality of the Baxter birthday bash, the local constabulary were called and an investigation begun in to the possibility that the "Hog" roasting on the spit, and being happily munched by the hungry throng, was in fact not an unfortunate pig, but the bloated body of "Fat Wallet".
The local police were allegedly already investigating a local group of Gypsies who were expected of cannibalism, and it is the current theory of the police that Fat Wallet was ambushed whilst counting his cash to the rear of the property, and substituted for the original Hog, that was to be sold back to the local butcher in New Milton.
Further reports on this extraordinary affair will appear as soon as the Baxter's have completed their witness statements, and will be published here in due course..
At the recent Baxtorian Clan gathering and garden party held in the delightful small New Forest village of Downton, an outrage is believed to have befallen former friend of the family, " Fat Wallet" Elliott.
Although invited to the tribal gathering, his supposed non arrival caused a stir throughout the mitorian hoard who had descended to the temporary encampment in the gardens of the palatial Palfryman - Baxtorion Villa.
A casual stroll through the stately gardens revealed a variety of groupings engaged in voracious conversation, whilst imbibing in a truly magnificent manner. Indeed the overflowing drinking horn was abundant in each and every corner of the magnificently appointed stately grounds. However, the most striking sight to befall the casual observer was the "Hog Roast" set up towards the rear of the section of garden laid to lawn.
The large electronic spit was slowly revolving enabling the large decapitated "Hog" to cook in an even and thorough manner, with the grease and flat steadily dripping in to the strategically placed fat trays below the unfortunate beast. However, not noticed to many was a trail of coins leading back to the fenced area that divided the garden from the holiday camp situated behind the Palfryman - Baxter villa.
These coins abruptly stopped by the fence, although a closer look revealed that an empty wallet, of large size and obviously stretched through holding a large wedge of notes, lay just the other side of the fence. Further more, just a couple of feet further in to the undergrowth were the crumpled remains of a tee shirt and jeans, together with soiled undergarments and rubber Jesus sandals. Indeed the clothing usually worn by the balding and overweight Fat Wallet.
Unknown to the boisterous crowd enjoying the hospitality of the Baxter birthday bash, the local constabulary were called and an investigation begun in to the possibility that the "Hog" roasting on the spit, and being happily munched by the hungry throng, was in fact not an unfortunate pig, but the bloated body of "Fat Wallet".
The local police were allegedly already investigating a local group of Gypsies who were expected of cannibalism, and it is the current theory of the police that Fat Wallet was ambushed whilst counting his cash to the rear of the property, and substituted for the original Hog, that was to be sold back to the local butcher in New Milton.
Further reports on this extraordinary affair will appear as soon as the Baxter's have completed their witness statements, and will be published here in due course..
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