Recent findings by the "
Roehampton School of Lobotomy and
Mentology" have revealed that each and every member of society have a deep seated fear of Oranges !.
Apparently, the fear originally lodged its self in the conscious Brain of Homo
Erectus, when our ancient ancestors roamed the African plains after descending from their original arboreal home in the tree tops.
On reaching the northern most parts of of the African continent, our brave descendants came across a apparently wondrous new fruit - "Citrus
sinensis" otherwise known as the humble Orange.
In a childlike manner, our hirsute progenitors were spellbound by the spherical shiny globes hanging from the lofty trees and thick luxuriant bushes.
One can only imaging the scene as the first Homo
Erecturine approached a low hanging branch and grabbed the pithy dimpled fruit, pulling the enticing globe from the tree.
Feeling the soft supply flesh of the Citrus
sinensis in the palm of his large hand the Homo
Erectus would have tentatively placed the fruit to his nose and spelled the bitter aroma emanating from each pore of the thick skin.
However, as with the curious the world over, he next took a bite out of the flesh, biting harshly through the bitter skin, and releasing a jet of stinging juice in to the eyes of his inquisitive mate. In an instant, the unfortunate female of the species would have recoiled in horror, desperately clawing here eyes trying to remove the burning acidic juice from her eye.
This in turn would have led to the others in the group quickly retreating in a heaving mass of hirsute shuffling arms and legs as they recoiled from the evil fruit. Soon this small group would pass on to other bands of Homo
Erectus the tale of the terror fruit that blinds those who touch it and within no time the Orange was known throughout their world as a demonic god fruit that would kill you if you as good as looked at it.
Later climatic changes forced our ancient ancestors to retreat from the shores of the Mediterranean, back to the grasslands of Kenya and Ethiopia, but the fear of the humble Orange remained burnt in to the conscience of these half man, half ape like beasts.
These fears were then passes on to our direct ancestors
Cro Magnan man, and has remained deeply embedded in mankind's conscience, but only emerging in the minds of those who are criminally insane or in permanent need of a permanent suite at
Rampton.
So next time you have a nightmare and dream of Mozart and Bowler hats, just remember the Orange you consumed earlier, that directly links you to the earliest fears of our ancient hirsute cousins whom once roamed the African planes, and unless you want a nice white suite in
Rampton or some other Mental Institution, give up Oranges before its to late .......................
