MR BLOGHEAD HAS A SEX CHANGE

 MR BLOGHEAD HAS A SEX CHANGE

Notorious former hard man Mr Bartholomew Bloghead, has confounded the press by confirming that he is now gender neutral.

 As a former member of the quasi religious cult known as the "Brothers of Snot" he was renowned as an inspirational speaker and practitioner of the art of "Mucus flexoligy".  

Initially a member of parliament for his childhood constituency of Lower Bollocks, a quite Herefordshire village on the Welsh marches, he soon progressed to the capital, where he represented Upper Balderdash in the Fields, originally for the Liberal party but then  for the Tories. However, city life appalled him, and his feelings towards his feelings towards his fellow parliamentarians soon led to his rejection by all the mainstream political parties and his expulsion from public office.

His relationship with Quincy Throgmorton had been a thorn in his side for many years, but recent alleged events as reported in the North Neasdon Gazette, detailing nefarious and illegal events at the Golf club, had set him back in the eyes of his acolytes and enemy's alike.  The incident had left an indelible mark on his already blemished record and destabilized his various attempts at achieving political and historical greatness.

A friend since childhood, The Honourable Quincy Throgmorton was married to "Tallahassee Timpton-Smyth", the famous socialite who had an infamous lesbian affair with Felicity Martini, a fading call girl from Kilburn. They were both associate members of the infamous and notorious North London Gang known as the "Hacienda Boys", named after the gangs late founder "Hercule Roy Hacienda", and now headed by Big Vernon Cruickshank and his gay lover, Jock "the snide" Jenkins. 

Unknown to the Hacienda Boys, Quincy was also a full member of the shadowy group known as the "Zoot Gang", formed by Johnny Boondocker, Bunny Schniedersnap, Lord Curlington, Racey Micklethwaite, Marmalade Atkins and Sebastian Fassbender. 

"Marmalade Atkins" had spent many years in Tanganyika dealing in the pygmy slave trade, illegal ivory and narcotics. He was known to move in the same circles as East Africa's most dangerous Arms dealer "Ivan Terrablanche", who had moved up from The Cape many years earlier, so as to escape from "Mickey Mangtoute" and his cut throat gang of bigoted extortionists and murderers.

Bartholomew Bloghead had made many acquaintances during his shady career in politics, but none as nefarious a the incredulous Doctor Theopolis Doyle. Although originally trained as a medical Doctor, Dr Doyle had never set up practice, and concentrated on his specialised subject of criminal Psychotic behaviour. Aided and abetted by a rag tag band of seedy delinquents and semi alcoholic roustabouts, 

Doyle was well acquainted with the criminal underbelly of polite society. He frequently visited the fleshpots of old Europe and was a regular customer and acquaintance of every high class "Madame" west of a line on a map drawn through the cities of Konigsberg, Warsaw and Athens.

Bloghead studied form, and was well acquainted with the exploits of Dr Doyle.

To be continued.....