The Author

The Author

Monday, 18 January 2016

DAVOS BREAKTHROUGH FOR THE DUCK FLAT CAP SOCIETY



DAVOS BREAKTHROUGH FOR THE DUCK FLAT CAP SOCIETY

In sensational but unsubstantiated news, the Duck Flat Cap Society has allegedly been invited to the World Economic Forum in Davos, a small town in the Swiss Alps, within the canton of Graubünden.

The popular winter sports resort with its conference centre that hosts the annual World Economic Forum is ablaze with rumour and gossip after an unsubstantiated press release by the” Barrow in Furness, St Petersburg and Ulan Bator Institute of Mastication”  stated that “Dave the Teach”, a failed Tupperware salesman and general roustabout, would head up the Duck Flat Cap Societies entourage at the global event.

The event that is to be visited by over 40 heads of state and government, as well as 2,500 leaders from business and society will discuss “Mastering the Fourth Industrial Revolution” under the themes of security, climate change, global growth and commodity prices.


It is believed that Dave the Teach is currently ensconced in a safe house located in the Provence area of France, where he has been in hiding from an enraged Driver Chard. This follows an unsavoury recent incident at the local Blood and Guts Services Rendered Club, where Driver Chard confronted Dave the Teach over his industrial language.

 It is alleged that the Teach verbally attacked a blind shoe shine boy for not affecting a sufficient shine to his carpet slippers. However it is believed that this onslaught has its origins with the unfortunate shoe shine boys mother who was allegedly Dave the Teach’ s personal haberdasher and valet when the Teach  was the principle at a private school in a remote location in a canton on the Swiss / Liechtenstein border.

Returning to Davos, it is during his prolonged stay in the Alpine region, that Dave the Teach forged links with various important dignitaries and influential Swiss and Tyrolean members of government, whilst roaming the countryside in a battered Mini. It is believed that it is theses links that have enabled the Duck Flat Cap Society to gain an alleged seat at the up and coming forum.


These same unsubstantiated reports emanating from the” Barrow in Furness, St Petersburg and Ulan Bator Institute of Mastication” indicate that the Society will be looking for a deal to limit the involvement of the European Community, The White House and other worldwide governmental and industrial institutions, in the governance of fiduciary, fiscal and other matters relating to the free movement of Flat Cap Assets and members throughout the world wide community.

The unsubstantiated reports go on to state that policy makers in the far east and south America, where the Duck Flat Cap Society are allegedly setting up affiliates, are being actively lobbied to allow the standard Flat Cap Society rules and regulations to apply without any interference from the state. 

Further details will be posted when we receive a report from Dave the Teach.



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