THE BEARD OF QUETZALCOATL
Recent research by the "Duck Flat Cap Society" Anthropological sub section has uncovered new evidence to support European habitation of south America hundreds of years earlier than currently believed.
Indeed the Incan people of Peru and the surrounding hinterland believed that the conquistadors who invaded shortly after Columbus's, supposed discovery of the America's, were incantations of "Viracocha", a local God who like the invaders were lighter skinned and more hirsute than the indigenous natives.
Further more, the Aztecs who were the first peoples to be subjugated by the invading Spaniards, were convinced that the bearded light skinned invaders were sent by their God Quetzalcoatl due to their beards and skin colour.
The documents, that have been discovered at the Madrid based "Castillian Institute of Spanish subjugation and Conquest" by the Duck Flat Cap Societies archivist, Dave The Teach, indicate that the south American land mass was originally colonised by white bearded Welshmen from St Davids in south west Wales.
These Welshmen were accompanied by a number of Irish Monks who had obtained sanctuary in the south of Wales after being alienated by the Norman Invaders who were destroying their Irish homeland during their ruthless conquest of Ireland.
The documents were handed to Dave the Teach by a respected Professor "Hans Liederhousen" with whom "Dave The Teach" had shared a research facility with when teaching at the "Swiss school of Inebriation and Crossword compilation" in Berne.
They had taught at the school for eighteen months until an unsavoury incident involving a telescope, a sixth form fashion student and a fondue set, led to their joint dismissal.
Dave the Teach obtained the documents when visiting the professor at a safe house in the south of France, and verification of the authenticity of the papers was conducted by "Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff", who accompanied the Teach on his trip to the flesh pots of southern France. The duo were further accompanied by former hard man and sexologist, Basher Hurley, who was in charge of security and bordello investigation.
After intensive study of the previously hidden parchments, it was clear to the Teach and Driver Chard that they were not forgeries and that the obvious conclusion was that Welsh And Irish peasants, together with a number of Monks, crossed the Atlantic in primitive coracle designed ships, reaching eventual landfall on the south American coast.
Using the knowledge that the Monks had obtained and preserved in ancient parchments, together with hand written gold inscribed books of Religion, they managed to grow sufficient crops to survive and create a viable society that eventually disappeared as inter marriage with natives dissolved their hair colouration and skin tone.
Indeed, it is believed that a quarrel resulted in a few of the adventurers leaving the main group, and travelling to North America, where after intermarrying with local native Indians, established a colony of Welsh speaking creoles, who linguists believe to still exist, to this day.
Returning to South America, it is now clear to the Duck Flat Cap Society that the natives who witnessed the arrival of the light skinned, and bearded Welshmen, believed them to be Gods who had emerged from the great eastern sea.
When the Conquistadors attacked the native peoples of the continent hundreds of years later, they believed that the bearded Gods had returned to relieve them from the continued struggle against draught, pestilence and famine, brought on by El Nino.
Indeed , Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff has been so effected by these discoveries that he now insists that fellow members of the Duck Flat Cap Society must now address him by the title of "Quetzalcoatl, when a session of any committee is in session.
It has been pointed out to him that he is neither Welsh, Irish or a God, but will not desist from his wish to be known by his new title. Members have agreed, but will not refer to him as "El Presedente" as also suggested. This resulted in the temporary seizure of Driver Chard, with the associated foaming at the mouth, but he soon recovered and accepted this minor covenant.
Further research is to be conducted by the DFCS and a further report will be issued in due course.
Recent research by the "Duck Flat Cap Society" Anthropological sub section has uncovered new evidence to support European habitation of south America hundreds of years earlier than currently believed.
Indeed the Incan people of Peru and the surrounding hinterland believed that the conquistadors who invaded shortly after Columbus's, supposed discovery of the America's, were incantations of "Viracocha", a local God who like the invaders were lighter skinned and more hirsute than the indigenous natives.
Further more, the Aztecs who were the first peoples to be subjugated by the invading Spaniards, were convinced that the bearded light skinned invaders were sent by their God Quetzalcoatl due to their beards and skin colour.
The documents, that have been discovered at the Madrid based "Castillian Institute of Spanish subjugation and Conquest" by the Duck Flat Cap Societies archivist, Dave The Teach, indicate that the south American land mass was originally colonised by white bearded Welshmen from St Davids in south west Wales.
These Welshmen were accompanied by a number of Irish Monks who had obtained sanctuary in the south of Wales after being alienated by the Norman Invaders who were destroying their Irish homeland during their ruthless conquest of Ireland.
The documents were handed to Dave the Teach by a respected Professor "Hans Liederhousen" with whom "Dave The Teach" had shared a research facility with when teaching at the "Swiss school of Inebriation and Crossword compilation" in Berne.
They had taught at the school for eighteen months until an unsavoury incident involving a telescope, a sixth form fashion student and a fondue set, led to their joint dismissal.
Dave the Teach obtained the documents when visiting the professor at a safe house in the south of France, and verification of the authenticity of the papers was conducted by "Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff", who accompanied the Teach on his trip to the flesh pots of southern France. The duo were further accompanied by former hard man and sexologist, Basher Hurley, who was in charge of security and bordello investigation.
After intensive study of the previously hidden parchments, it was clear to the Teach and Driver Chard that they were not forgeries and that the obvious conclusion was that Welsh And Irish peasants, together with a number of Monks, crossed the Atlantic in primitive coracle designed ships, reaching eventual landfall on the south American coast.
Using the knowledge that the Monks had obtained and preserved in ancient parchments, together with hand written gold inscribed books of Religion, they managed to grow sufficient crops to survive and create a viable society that eventually disappeared as inter marriage with natives dissolved their hair colouration and skin tone.
Indeed, it is believed that a quarrel resulted in a few of the adventurers leaving the main group, and travelling to North America, where after intermarrying with local native Indians, established a colony of Welsh speaking creoles, who linguists believe to still exist, to this day.
Returning to South America, it is now clear to the Duck Flat Cap Society that the natives who witnessed the arrival of the light skinned, and bearded Welshmen, believed them to be Gods who had emerged from the great eastern sea.
When the Conquistadors attacked the native peoples of the continent hundreds of years later, they believed that the bearded Gods had returned to relieve them from the continued struggle against draught, pestilence and famine, brought on by El Nino.
Indeed , Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff has been so effected by these discoveries that he now insists that fellow members of the Duck Flat Cap Society must now address him by the title of "Quetzalcoatl, when a session of any committee is in session.
It has been pointed out to him that he is neither Welsh, Irish or a God, but will not desist from his wish to be known by his new title. Members have agreed, but will not refer to him as "El Presedente" as also suggested. This resulted in the temporary seizure of Driver Chard, with the associated foaming at the mouth, but he soon recovered and accepted this minor covenant.
Further research is to be conducted by the DFCS and a further report will be issued in due course.
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