THE POPPADOM PROPHECIES
Archaeologists working on behalf of the Mumbai & Harrogate School of Mysticism and Calligraphy have discovered a set of documents that have been hidden from society for thousands of years.
The archaeologists, who have been working for several months at an undisclosed location in the Deccan region of India broke their silence on Monday, when Professor Cornelius Wildebeest e-mailed details of the documentation to his his fellow antiquarian, Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, the acting chairman and life president of the Duck Flat Cap Society, who have for many years been located in north west London, England.
Driver Chard immediately contacted his fellow " Duck Flat Cap Society" members, who convened an emergency session of the Archaeological sub committee. At the meeting Driver Chard explained to the enthralled audience that a leather bound bundle of ancient Sanskrit scripts had been discovered buried beneath an antiquated granite statue of an Elephant mounting a water Buffalo.Carefully placed below the leather bundle containing the Sanskrit documents was a mummified Poppadom, completely covered in a version of ancient Sanskrit, known to be that used by the priestly cast that existed only at the time of Jesus Christ.
The poppadom has allegedly been studied by the worlds current experts in the ancient Sanskrit language, and were amazed to discover that the translation warns of an apocalyptic event that was to take place when the ice caps began to melt and the deserts of the world were scorched by the dried blood of the starving and dehydrated residents of the lands located to the west of "Bharrat", across the unforgiving salt sea of the never ending monsoons.
It continues to describe the end of the world, by the greed and avarice of man, and that the final countdown to the final destruction will begin when the modern empires of the west, north and south, succumb to the might of the great eastern overlords.
"Driver Chard" dismissed the prophecy with a swish of his dry and spotted hand, whilst mumbling that the world can't end soon, because he and his wife were booked on a cruise next spring and he cant afford to waste the money. The remaining members of the Duck Flat Cap Society tended to agree with the cantankerous old bounder and decided to dismiss the poppadom discovery as a discarded unwanted snack, left by an over weight Indian priest, whilst writing a prehistoric blog on a unwanted poppadom, to pass the time of day.
This said the current world climate appears to mirror the situation as displayed on the mummified poppadom, and we can only wait to see what occurs next year.
A further report will be submitted next year, provide we all survives the Apocalypse.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
Archaeologists working on behalf of the Mumbai & Harrogate School of Mysticism and Calligraphy have discovered a set of documents that have been hidden from society for thousands of years.
The archaeologists, who have been working for several months at an undisclosed location in the Deccan region of India broke their silence on Monday, when Professor Cornelius Wildebeest e-mailed details of the documentation to his his fellow antiquarian, Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, the acting chairman and life president of the Duck Flat Cap Society, who have for many years been located in north west London, England.
Driver Chard immediately contacted his fellow " Duck Flat Cap Society" members, who convened an emergency session of the Archaeological sub committee. At the meeting Driver Chard explained to the enthralled audience that a leather bound bundle of ancient Sanskrit scripts had been discovered buried beneath an antiquated granite statue of an Elephant mounting a water Buffalo.Carefully placed below the leather bundle containing the Sanskrit documents was a mummified Poppadom, completely covered in a version of ancient Sanskrit, known to be that used by the priestly cast that existed only at the time of Jesus Christ.
The poppadom has allegedly been studied by the worlds current experts in the ancient Sanskrit language, and were amazed to discover that the translation warns of an apocalyptic event that was to take place when the ice caps began to melt and the deserts of the world were scorched by the dried blood of the starving and dehydrated residents of the lands located to the west of "Bharrat", across the unforgiving salt sea of the never ending monsoons.
It continues to describe the end of the world, by the greed and avarice of man, and that the final countdown to the final destruction will begin when the modern empires of the west, north and south, succumb to the might of the great eastern overlords.
"Driver Chard" dismissed the prophecy with a swish of his dry and spotted hand, whilst mumbling that the world can't end soon, because he and his wife were booked on a cruise next spring and he cant afford to waste the money. The remaining members of the Duck Flat Cap Society tended to agree with the cantankerous old bounder and decided to dismiss the poppadom discovery as a discarded unwanted snack, left by an over weight Indian priest, whilst writing a prehistoric blog on a unwanted poppadom, to pass the time of day.
This said the current world climate appears to mirror the situation as displayed on the mummified poppadom, and we can only wait to see what occurs next year.
A further report will be submitted next year, provide we all survives the Apocalypse.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
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