REPORTS HAVE BEEN RECEIVED THAT THE LOAF HAS ABANDONED THE HIGH LIFE IN GLASGOW AND IS NOW RESIDENT IN SOUTH LONDON.
IT HAS BEEN EXTREMELY HARD TO VERIFY THESE UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOURS, DUE TO THE SECRETIVE NATURE OF LOAFMANS CURRENT EXISTENCE.
HOWEVER, A SCOTTISH SPY HAS VERIFIED THAT THE LOAF HAS VACATED HIS PREVIOUS PREMISES AFTER UNCONFIRMED SKIRMISHES WITH THE LOCAL SOMALI MILITIA.
I CAN CONFIRM THAT A DOUBLE OF THE LOAF DID VISIT THE HARROW WEALD AREA APPROXIMATELY SIX MONTHS AGO , ALTHOUGH THIS DOPPELGANGER WAS EASILY EXPOSED BY HIS INABILITY TO DOWN THE SLOPPS BUCKET IN ONE GULP AT CLOSING TIME.
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