The dictionary definition of "Defenestration" is to throw from the window, from the Latin "De" - from or remove & "Fenestra" - window.
However, for those of you who have had the delight of staying in the fabulous city of Prague, will know that the window is not the only article that you can be thrown from.
The city is renowned for its magnificent medieval architecture, together with its magnificent array of bars and bierkellers selling lager at ridiculously cheap prices.
However, beware !!!!
Close to Wenceslas square is a nondescript building that used to house the most expensive bar in eastern Europe. At a time when a large strong lager would cost approximately the equivalent of £00.10p this particular waterhole was selling its similar wet bubbly gaseous liquid at the equivalent of £3.00 a pint,an astronomical amount 25 years ago in this still communist city.
This particular establishment could only be entered by way of a 3 man lift that included a 25 stone doorman as company. This lift would strain its way to the top floor where the so called "American Bar, selling inferior American beer, was situated . It soon became apparent that it was ridiculous to continue imbibing in this cash eating establishment and a sudden rush to the small lift led to five entwined bodies crushed together in the space designed for three.
As the lift descended to the ground floor the ratcheting mechanism was strained to its up most and soon it ground to a halt. The clever amongst the escaping throng has descended via a fire escape that was accesses via a window and soon those who had taken the defenestration method to disembowel themselves fro the building were laughing at their friends and colleges shouting to be released from there temporary tightly caged prison.
Soon it became to much for one of the imprisoned revellers, and he was ripping his clothes from his sweaty body as he shouted to be released. The management of the establishment had obviously been there before, and slowly began to wind the small cage to the ground.
At last the lift was at the ground and the sweaty semi naked bodies slowly disentangled themselves and stepped from there temporary prison.
By now the rest of the group had left the premises and were approaching a new hostelry that was a feature of a gilded baroque hall, that had previously been an important building during the Bohemian period, but had since been co opted by the communist state that had followed the removal of the Nazis by the Russian forces at the end of the second world war.
The former Ballroom was now a seedy dance space that was sparsely populated and surrounded by cheap plastic chairs. However this did not stop the simplistic and child like members of this merry band dancing across the floor as if they were screaming banshees.
Then one of this mad, bad band starting flipping his body as if possessed by the devil. Soon he was drenched in sweat and his shoes hanging from his large feet, with the soles ripped from the now destroyed shoes.
This revelry continued for many hours until the group split in to two and headed back to there accommodation and beds.
The next morning all the photo frames in the establishment were all smashed to smithereens and the towels in the bathroom streaked with excrement. The state of the room was dismissed by all, and soon they were again out drinking the splendid lager at ludicrously low prices. On returning to the place of rest however, it was soon made apparent that the band had been Defenestrated from the property and that there was no chance of remaining.
In the garden was a field phone with a lead stretching from the ground floor kitchen to a plum tree approximately 10 yards from the property.
At the request of the owners of the property one of the drunken louts moved to the phone and pick up the receiver, and at the other end was the British consulate who instructed the barbarians to leave the premises within five minutes or risk being imprisoned by the police of this still communist state.
So beware, there is more than one way to be Defenestrated in Prague !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As he lay there drifting in out of consciousness Ernestine Monkfish had stumbled across him and placed his stupefied head on here considerable and damp lap. She managed to convey him back to her wooden hovel situated a few yards from where he had fallen, muttering that she would nurse him back to health.
