DRIVER CHARD IN DR WHAT CHALLENGE
Driver Chard, acting chairman and president of the Duck Flat Cap Society , has astonished the membership by claiming that he is the rightful successor to the fictional post of "Dr What".
At an extraordinary meeting of the "Procrastination, imbibing, Weeping Angel and Chekhovian" sub-committee, Driver Chard revealed to the assembled committee that he had been promised the role after the existing incumbents next regeneration.
Furthermore, he maintained that the overweight failed karaoke singer and part time somnambulist "Ray the Dust" and former slave trader and plumber "Little Legs Parks" were to be his fellow companions and time travellers.
After being challenged by "Dave the Duck", the wrinkle faced Octogenarian Fulham F.C supporter pulled a document from his trouser pocket, proclaiming that it was a signed contract establishing him as the next Dr, and appointing Ray the Dust and Little Legs as his companions.
The fact that on closer inspection it appeared to be a repeat prescription for Viagra was dismissed at the time due to the acrid sweat dripping from his face and obliterating the wording on the crumpled document. Another document which he proclaimed to be a codicil to the original "prescription" document was also of a dodgy pedigree due to its uncannily similarity to a 1945 Fulham F.C football programme .
At this stage of the proceedings "Pepe le Puke, pushed forward to vent his spleen to the effect that he was astonished and flabbergasted that he had been overlooked as a travelling companion.
He continued to refute any suggestion that Little Legs Parks could fulfil the role of assistant companion to his fellow part time Dust Cart operative Raymondo Dusthampton.
Furthermore, he protested Ray the Dust had shown ungentlemanly conduct in accepting the post beside the ex slave trading plumber, in full knowledge that his diminutive self craved the position.
At this point, the remaining committee members announced their mutual disgust towards Ray the Dust, Little Legs Parks and Pepe le Puke for failing to reveal their Whatovovian ambitions, and passed an immediate resolution banning them from attending future meetings until clarification of the role played by each member in this subterfuge was investigated by Inspector Dave the Teach and Basher Hurley.
In this respect, proceedings will be placed on hold until Inspector Teach returns from his mid winter sabbatical in southern France, providing the local Mayor and Gendarmerie approve his release.
Ex military hard man and sexologist Basher Hurley is on stand-bye awaiting the return of his northern associate and is currently communicating with his fellow Lancasterian via telepathy and carrier pigeon.
Driver Chard claim will be fully discussed at the next full meeting of the "Procrastination, imbibing, Weeping Angel and Chekhovian" sub-committee, and the conclusion of the investigation by the northern "What finder General" Dave the Teach and his sexologist buddy.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
Driver Chard, acting chairman and president of the Duck Flat Cap Society , has astonished the membership by claiming that he is the rightful successor to the fictional post of "Dr What".
At an extraordinary meeting of the "Procrastination, imbibing, Weeping Angel and Chekhovian" sub-committee, Driver Chard revealed to the assembled committee that he had been promised the role after the existing incumbents next regeneration.
Furthermore, he maintained that the overweight failed karaoke singer and part time somnambulist "Ray the Dust" and former slave trader and plumber "Little Legs Parks" were to be his fellow companions and time travellers.After being challenged by "Dave the Duck", the wrinkle faced Octogenarian Fulham F.C supporter pulled a document from his trouser pocket, proclaiming that it was a signed contract establishing him as the next Dr, and appointing Ray the Dust and Little Legs as his companions.
The fact that on closer inspection it appeared to be a repeat prescription for Viagra was dismissed at the time due to the acrid sweat dripping from his face and obliterating the wording on the crumpled document. Another document which he proclaimed to be a codicil to the original "prescription" document was also of a dodgy pedigree due to its uncannily similarity to a 1945 Fulham F.C football programme .
At this stage of the proceedings "Pepe le Puke, pushed forward to vent his spleen to the effect that he was astonished and flabbergasted that he had been overlooked as a travelling companion.
He continued to refute any suggestion that Little Legs Parks could fulfil the role of assistant companion to his fellow part time Dust Cart operative Raymondo Dusthampton.
Furthermore, he protested Ray the Dust had shown ungentlemanly conduct in accepting the post beside the ex slave trading plumber, in full knowledge that his diminutive self craved the position.
At this point, the remaining committee members announced their mutual disgust towards Ray the Dust, Little Legs Parks and Pepe le Puke for failing to reveal their Whatovovian ambitions, and passed an immediate resolution banning them from attending future meetings until clarification of the role played by each member in this subterfuge was investigated by Inspector Dave the Teach and Basher Hurley.
Ex military hard man and sexologist Basher Hurley is on stand-bye awaiting the return of his northern associate and is currently communicating with his fellow Lancasterian via telepathy and carrier pigeon.
Driver Chard claim will be fully discussed at the next full meeting of the "Procrastination, imbibing, Weeping Angel and Chekhovian" sub-committee, and the conclusion of the investigation by the northern "What finder General" Dave the Teach and his sexologist buddy.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
No comments:
Post a Comment