Driver Chard has threatened to terminate the membership of all members of the Duck Flat Cap Society in view of the the recent spate of tax scandals enveloping the UK.
At a recent full meeting of the "Tax, Subscriptions and Procrastination" sub committee, acting President and Chairman, Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, blew a gasket as he debated the current sad state of affairs whilst wearing a khaki safari jacket and orange bowler hat, waving a scarlet umbrella above his white head, and smoking a Moroccan cheroot.
As the old timer stood at the committee table he waived a white sheet of paper in his left hand proclaiming that after a meeting at the high chancellery with the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister, Prince Von Metternich and Her Hitler, he believed that he had obtained the upper hand in the simmering Tax War and had achieved peace in our time.
As the trembling octogenarian sat down at his seat, the committee rose to their feet and gave three cheers accompanied by ten minutes of thunderous applause.
However their was one dissenter, who whilst seated at the end of the table was in the most part obscured from general view, but as the applause drew to an end and the members regained their seats it was clear that the northern agitator "Dave the Teach" rejected the Chairman's stance.
He was ashen faced and had remained silent and seated throughout the riotous reception received by the fragile and ruddy faced octogenarian Chard.
The slight figure of Dave the Teach slowly rose to his feet, and as he wrapped his knuckles against the wooden table to gain attention he simultaneously removed his black beret and place a replica Beretta on the table next to squashed packet of woodbine.
At first his voice was quite but firm , but gradually rose in tone and temperament, until he was shrieking at the top of his voice that the Northern League would never surrender to the communist red bellied faction that he believed Driver Chard supported and represented.
He removed his black donkey jacket to reveal a baseball bat strapped to his back, and a stretchy "s buckle" scouts belt acting as a make weight holster for a rusty six inch fish knife.
The scene was set for a momentous upheaval in the societies make up and well being, but at that precise moment the last bell rang and all and sundry suddenly stopped and turned to the bar. Within minutes the meeting had broken up with Driver Chard revealing he had to go home for his supper consisting of a slither of pork pie and farmyard pickle, and the remaining ensemble, including Dave the Teach, purchasing their final beverages of the evening.
As a side note it was agreed that the societies Tax affairs would be discussed and the next meeting after a games of shuffleboard and pitch and toss, and details will be relayed to the reader in due course.
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