RAY THE DUST IN SATANIC LINK TO REPUBLICAN SYMPATHISERS

RAY THE DUST IN SATANIC LINK TO REPUBLICAN SYMPATHISERS

Elderly former pub singer and delusional ladies man, Ray the Dust, has outraged fellow Duck Flat Cap Society members by revealing his affinity with Beelzebub, otherwise known as the Devil.

The ageing somnambulist and part time garbage operative, has been outspoken in his belief that British society is suffering from following the path of righteousness, and that he believes the only way out of the world's current mess is to follow the dark path of Diablo, the prince of darkness.  

Ray the Dust has also taken to wearing his Man United football shirt on a regular basis and constantly strokes the red devil emblem stitched to the red jersey. His hand movements are troublesome to those in his presence, as he also continues to rub his head and pat his rotund stomach between stroking the demonic emblem.

At first this behaviour was thought to be just a further nervous tick that the overweight failed karaoke singer and compulsive gambler had picked up is constant and regular visits to the Costa Del crime and Croydon.

However, it has now become evident that the popular jovial drunk has permanently effected his mental faculties due to a mixture of over eating, under the counter erectile deficiency drugs and copious amounts of illicitly distilled alcohol.

The Dust has also taken to commenting on the USA electoral debate, and has adopted the Republican cause in the sad belief that "Republican" is an American version of "Publican".

Although the "Duck Flat Cap Society" "North America and the colonies" sub committee have discussed this with the Dust, he remains convinced that the Republican Party are staffed and populated by licensed Victualler's and retired publicans, and its political emphasis is solely to provide the easy passage of alcohol from the producers of alcoholic products direct to the demanding public.   

He goes on to state that he believes the Devil invented alcohol and alcoholic beverages so as to redeem and enlighten the souls of the damned, and relieve them from the unforgiving stress of living a righteous life.

  Thus "Ray the Dust" has linked his belief that the dark path of Beelzebub and the way of the underworld is directly interwoven with the Republican cause due to his delusional belief that the Republican Party is a political party set up for the free and unhindered consumption of alcoholic beverages. 

The Duck Flat Cap Society is to continue to monitor the current situation, and will attempt to re programme the mind of the Dust so that he may return to civil society.

In the interim period he will be held under strict house arrest in his Carpenters Park residence, with security supervised by former military hard man and sexologist Basher Hurley.

An update on his mental health will be released in due course.