DFCS IN "FLAT EARTH" SCANDAL
At a resent meeting of the Geographical Research and Phlebotomy sub committee of the Duck Flat Cap Society, Driver Chard once again caused an uproar with his declaration that the Earth is not round but flat !
He based his outrageous outburst on an article that he observed in a back issue of "The Flat Earth Times", that he had stumbled across in the British Legion library. The article, which had been removed from the publication by Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff , was a report submitted by an investigative team from the " Potsdam and Lubeck Institute of Flat Earth Studies and Curling".
The article referred to previously unknown documents that had recently been uncovered by archivists at the "Moscow & Stalingrad School of KGB Studies". The document was believed to be a photo copy of a secret report issued by NASA during the preparation for the Apollo moonshot in 1968.
This report noted that the astronauts of the successive Apollo missions had constantly contradicted known science by swearing that the view of the earth from their space capsule indicated that the Earth was not an ecliptic sphere, but in fact as flat as a proverbial pancake.
It also stated that photographs and film footage supposedly showing the Earth as a sphere were the result of advanced photographic technology that had been obtained at the time of the Alien incident at Roswell, and that the moon landings did take place , but not on a spherical Moon , but on a flat moon similar to the earth.
Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, who was only just recovering from his previous incident concerning the one handed driving of Spencer Tracy, suddenly became very emotional and started to shake.
He was immediately comforted by Dave the Duck, who expressed his belief that the Chard was correct in his assessment of the Earths lack of curvature, and agreed that the Earth must be flat, because when he plays golf the greens are always flat and that it the Earth was round the ball would fall away from the cup.
At this the remaining members of the sub Committee huddled together and quickly arranged for an ambulance to take the troubled duo to the local hospital for extensive medical investigation. However, after a few hours in a padded cell they were heavily medicated and returned to the Duck.
At that moment the northern agitator and geographical professor, Dave The Teach, grabbed the gavel and declared the meeting well and truly over, and declaring that the Earth is indeed spherical and not flat, and that the findings of the " Potsdam and Lubeck Institute of Flat Earth Studies and Curling" were not new and had been debated at length in 1971 at the Walney Teachers convention.The convention had dismissed the report out of hand and had delivered the offending article to the KGB at the next meeting of the National Union of Teachers.
Matters then deteriorated quickly, with ex hard man and Sexologist Basher Hurley siding with his northern compatriot, and the remaining members, including a dazzled and befuddled Bazzer Duck siding with his golfing mentor Driver Chard.
The meeting then came to a close as Driver Chard and Dave the Duck were once again escorted from the premises, and placed in to the rear of a large yellow van with Broodmore stenciled on its side.
More on this unsettling incident in due course.
At a resent meeting of the Geographical Research and Phlebotomy sub committee of the Duck Flat Cap Society, Driver Chard once again caused an uproar with his declaration that the Earth is not round but flat !
He based his outrageous outburst on an article that he observed in a back issue of "The Flat Earth Times", that he had stumbled across in the British Legion library. The article, which had been removed from the publication by Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff , was a report submitted by an investigative team from the " Potsdam and Lubeck Institute of Flat Earth Studies and Curling".
The article referred to previously unknown documents that had recently been uncovered by archivists at the "Moscow & Stalingrad School of KGB Studies". The document was believed to be a photo copy of a secret report issued by NASA during the preparation for the Apollo moonshot in 1968.
This report noted that the astronauts of the successive Apollo missions had constantly contradicted known science by swearing that the view of the earth from their space capsule indicated that the Earth was not an ecliptic sphere, but in fact as flat as a proverbial pancake.
It also stated that photographs and film footage supposedly showing the Earth as a sphere were the result of advanced photographic technology that had been obtained at the time of the Alien incident at Roswell, and that the moon landings did take place , but not on a spherical Moon , but on a flat moon similar to the earth.
Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, who was only just recovering from his previous incident concerning the one handed driving of Spencer Tracy, suddenly became very emotional and started to shake.
He was immediately comforted by Dave the Duck, who expressed his belief that the Chard was correct in his assessment of the Earths lack of curvature, and agreed that the Earth must be flat, because when he plays golf the greens are always flat and that it the Earth was round the ball would fall away from the cup.
At this the remaining members of the sub Committee huddled together and quickly arranged for an ambulance to take the troubled duo to the local hospital for extensive medical investigation. However, after a few hours in a padded cell they were heavily medicated and returned to the Duck.
At that moment the northern agitator and geographical professor, Dave The Teach, grabbed the gavel and declared the meeting well and truly over, and declaring that the Earth is indeed spherical and not flat, and that the findings of the " Potsdam and Lubeck Institute of Flat Earth Studies and Curling" were not new and had been debated at length in 1971 at the Walney Teachers convention.The convention had dismissed the report out of hand and had delivered the offending article to the KGB at the next meeting of the National Union of Teachers.
Matters then deteriorated quickly, with ex hard man and Sexologist Basher Hurley siding with his northern compatriot, and the remaining members, including a dazzled and befuddled Bazzer Duck siding with his golfing mentor Driver Chard.The meeting then came to a close as Driver Chard and Dave the Duck were once again escorted from the premises, and placed in to the rear of a large yellow van with Broodmore stenciled on its side.
More on this unsettling incident in due course.
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