“PEPE LE PUKE” AND “MICKY GOOD BOY INCE” IN ASYLUM FARCE

“PEPE LE PUKE” AND “MICKY GOOD BOY INCE” IN ASYLUM FARCE

Peripheral members of the Duck Flat Cap Society, Pepe Le Puke and Micky Good Boy Ince, have astounded members of the “Sanctuary, Asylum and Procrastination” sub committee by requesting sanctuary within the debating rooms of the society.

Their request is believed to be in response to threatened legal action instigated by the management of a Benidorm Hotel recently frequented by the dynamic duo whilst on a recent fact finding trip for the society.

It is alleged that Pepe Le Puke attempted to visually molest a chambermaid whilst he lay naked on his bed reading a copy of “Refuge and Dustcart Weekly”. This action was facilitated by Good Boy Ince attempting to photograph the incident with his mobile phone. The photo was not taken due to Good Boy Ince having to adjust the manual zoom to view Pepe Le Pukes equipment, thus allowing the startled chambermaid to make good here exit from the festering den of iniquity.

Pepe Le Pukes original defence that he had hung a "Do not disturb" notice about his appendage has been dismissed by all parties as it is acknowledged that he has insufficient length for the notice to be securely secured to his manhood.

Further action was not taken at the time, due to the chambermaid breaking in to a fit of giggles when remembering Pepe Le Pukes shriveled appendage.

However, days later under hypnosis and electromagnetic cranial therapy, she declared her wish for the local police to press multiple charges of harassment, exhibitionism, nudity with intent to defraud, fraudulent indecency and visual molestation, against the overweight "fun boy two".

Acting chairman and president of the Duck Flat Cap Society, Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff has declared his distaste of the sordid and comical claims made against the corpulent duo, and as with other recent miscreants, has suspended their membership until their innocence can be proven or Asylum granted.

A hearing before the “Sanctuary, Asylum and Procrastination” sub committee has been arranged for 21.00 hours on Friday 5^th July and failed karaoke singer and part time refuse collector “Ray the Dust” has agreed to legally represent the duo at the hearing.

 Ray the Dust will be assisted by “Dave the Teach” and Little Legs Parks at the proceedings, who will stand in for the Dust when his endemic narcolepsy sets in and he falls asleep whilst debating the “fun boy two’s” innocence.

 

“Dave Duck” and “Games keeper Barry” will be acting on behalf of the prosecution, pressing to annul any asylum request, having allegedly received a wedge of euros from an associate of Benidorm’s notorious “Sticky Vicky”, who allegedly has a long running feud with the defence councils “Ray the Dust”. 

Driver Chard has retained the services of solicitors “Barron, Bullard and Brown” and Barristers “Loaf, Buff and Yard” in case the council for the defence, led by Ray the Dust, is unsuccessful and the asylum request goes to the court of appeal.   

Further details of the asylum request will be detailed in due course.