DUCK FLAT CAP SOCIETY HIT BY FINANCE CRISIS
At a recent explosive “extraordinary general meeting” Driver
Chard revealed to Finance and Supping subcommittee, that in his capacity as
vice treasurer and embezzler general, he had secretly transferred the Societies
monetary reserves to a numbered bank account in Cyprus.
He further explained that in addition to transferring the
societies cash deposits to the Cypriot banking system, he had also invested approximately
seventy percent of the funds in a Russian Corporate entity specialising in money
laundering for the Russian criminal elite.
The final insult to the societies Finance and Supping subcommittee
was the revelation that the septuagenarian silver haired ex military driver had
forgotten the number of the account and also the name of the Bank that the
funds had been transferred too, due to a bout of gout and an embolism brought
on by excessive rich food and Metaxa 7 star brandy consumed whilst on the
flight to Nicosia.
At the end of the extraordinary meeting driver chard was
bound by his arms and legs by the committee and deposited in the pubs cellar where
he is to remain until a hit man can be arranged to deliver the appropriate coupe de
gras to the sad eyed soon to be octogenarian.
Further details will be published in due course, in the Obituary
section of local newspapers.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
