THE KNIGHTS OF THE SQUARE BLOG

 THE KNIGHTS OF THE SQUARE BLOG

"Sir Loaf" of Loafington Hall was a grandee of the grandest grandees, and loved to wear the most polished and shiny amour in town.

He loved crushed velvet, and was very partial to cheesecloth as undergarments. The ungainly and highly polished knight dreamed of creamed teas and toasted crumpets, but had know idea of what they were. 

His daily routine included rising at dawn to feed his pigeons and guinea pigs, breakfast on boiled beans and spinach an hour later, and complete his ablutions at midday. 

 He would be fully dressed by twilight, usually wearing a tunic of crushed velvet, a cheesecloth loincloth,  cotton hose and finished off with  shiny plate metal amour. 

He loved amour !

Then he would parade around the courtyards and closes of  his castle, posing and preening as he conveyed his self about the complex of palatial buildings and courtyards. 

However, the tilt-yard was his favouirite place, and he was often seen gallivanting with local youths, both female and male, along the divided corridor used by the charging steads. 

His favouirite pastime whilst inhabiting the tilt-yard was the illegal practice of "bareback cock jousting", with his fanciful entourage of  couriers and buddies. He also enjoyed his courtiers playing gay tunes on the banjo, and would often sit mesmerised as a tune was plucked by a tuneful minstrel.

When not on the tilt-yard or enjoying the company of his youthful entourage, Sir Loaf would quietly sit on his horse and compose lewd verse and poetry to impress his court. Although not schooled to a high level, he could understand pigeon English, and had a smattering of Latin, Yiddish and French. 

However, his favourite mode of written communication was in his imaginary language that he called "flutter-verse", and in that he was fluent. It was littered with childish words for biological and lavatorial  activities and involved a significant amount of hand signals, that rendered it next to useless for written communication. However, Sir Loaf loved it and wallowed in his flutter-verse universe.

He had a huge scar on his face which was the product of a childish spat with his uncle when still a ward of court. 

To be continued.......

JOHNNY DIVOC AND THE HIDDEN RIDERS OF TOMORROW

JOHNNY DIVOC AND THE HIDDEN RIDERS OF TOMORROW

Johnny loved Jazz and often pretended to play the double bass when travelling on the metro or a bus. He was a bit backward, but got by with a smile and a wink.

The family were from old east Europe, escaping from tyranny and servitude in an East Prussian village. They travelled to their current location by passenger ship, travelling third class, and lived in a run down area on the East side of the river Styx. 

Unfortunately, soon after disembarking at the docks,  Pa Divoc lost all of his life savings in a bare knuckle fight with a one armed Sicilian midget called Rocco. There after, the family worked hard at a number of sources of income, including manual labour, various nefarious sub legal activities, and selling their bodies for sex, and eventually managed to save some capital. 

In time, the Divoc's managed to rent a small lock- up shop on the block by the import docks, originally selling provisions and basic goods. It was quite successful from the start, however, it was not unusual for young Johnny to get a beating from the local kids when running errands for his parents. In particular, the many bastard children sired by Rocco, the one armed Sicilian midget who gave his father a beating at the docks.

As well as selling household goods and confectionary, the shop also sold Hemp and Flax imported from eastern Europe, using contacts from their homeland and especially Konigsberg and Ebling. Occasionally the opportunity to sell narcotics was presented by additional imports from Konigsberg, and it soon became obvious that Drug dealing made them more money. 

The profits from the illegal narcotic activities enabled the family  to move to a larger more prominent location, nearer the main line train station and close to the towns major hotels an brothels.  

It was inevitable that Johnny would become a drug addict very quickly, and as his predilection for good blow grew stronger by the day he began to supplement it with opium and other strong brain numbing salty stimulants and downers. 

Living in a permanent state of inebriation and  stupefaction, Johnny was drawn towards closer association with Rocco and his band of hoodlum miscreants. The north bank of the Styx had only one prominent group of hoodlums', and they went by the name of the Turdoxions. 

Rocco was their leader and self proclaimed hard man of  his manor.

Johnny grew older and bolder as the years passed and soon he had developed in to a six foot three, hazel eyed man about town and a seasoned scavenger of bitches. His ears and nose were slightly curved, as he drove his camper van pained blue and green, along the ocean highway with spray splattering its hood and bodywork.

After a brief spell in the military, he would often take this trip along the ocean front on his way to meet the nefarious Dr Delirious Doyle.

Dr Doyle had first met Johnny when he was attached to the Sister Crippen unit of the renown "Shenley Mitre" Hospital for the mentally insane and obese.

They had been active during various South American and European Civil Wars, and had also operated behind enemy lines during operation Yellow Brick Road. However, Dr Doyle was now an enthusiastic accomplice in the distribution of Johnny's salty hallucinogenic products, partially due his almost fanatical love of the mind bending salty snacks. However, Rocco was not on good terms with Dr Doyle after an incident at the Parkinson Institute for the clinically intoxicated and inebriated.  

To be continued..........