DRIVER CHARD IN QUEST TO DEBASE THE POUND STERLING
Aging
acting President and Chairman of the Duck Flat Cap Society Diver Chard
of El Hadj Duiff, has astounded members by stating that pound Sterling
coins should be abolished and discarded as currency in the UK.
However,
he is quite happy for them to continue to be used in Scotland should
they leave the United Kingdom at the scheduled referendum.
Driver
Chard stated that "In terms of the coins in your pocket, it's useless,
and that the coin's pifflingness - or necessity embarrassed the people
of England.
"People
were commonly said not to bother to bend down in the street to pick it
up if they dropped one, and it had an impractically small value and
purchasing power."
Further
more, the grey haired would be statesman retorted that the history of
currency is littered with cases of when melted coins may have exceeded
their purchasing power, quoting the old half penny, threepenny bit Groat
and sixpence and after downing his pint of warm ale spluttered" it's
worth remembering how annoying Britain's least loved coin, notorious
for getting lost in trousers and furniture upholstery, was.
When
asked what should replace the golden coins, he retorted that stamps,
postal orders, green shield stamps,cricket cards or Old Age Pensioner
bus passes could adequately be used as replacements.
The
monetary sub committee of the imbibing and procrastinating committee
will debate the issue at an extraordinary meeting scheduled to take
place at Chequers over the coming Bank Holiday, and the results will be
posted here in due course.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
