COMMIE "LITTLE LEGS" PARKS IN MAYORAL CLASH WITH DRIVER CHARD
Diminutive plumber and part time lumberjack, Littler Legs Parks, has caused an outrage in the quiet gentrified suburbs of North West London, by challenging Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, acting President and Chairman of the Duck Flat Cap Society, for the office of Mayor.
The office of "Mayor and Alderman of Middlesex" has been empty for over a hundred years due to the gradual absorption of the "Middle Saxon" county of Middlesex in to the metropolis of Greater London.
Recent events throughout Great Britain regarding political devolution to the various regions of the UK, have resulted in the re establishment of the post of "Mayor and Alderman of Middlesex", and Driver Chard was believed to be the favourite candidate for the post.
However, Little Legs Parks has shocked the local electorate by revealing his candidacy as a fully paid up member of the Independent Communist Party of Rayner's Lane and Middlesex (ICPRLM).
This recently created outpost of alleged Marxist, Turdoxian and Maoist opinion, has manifested itself throughout the suburban hinterland of the former fabled "Metroland", due to increased immigration, emigration and in particular, a massive influx of Eastern Europeans from former communist countries.
These peoples having settled here believing in the myth of an easy living under the UK's social benefit system, have discovered the reality of living in a crippled state, and now long for the former protection afforded by their former communist masters.
Little Legs Parks has listened to these Eastern migrants as he employs them on sub minimum wages, whist attending to the damaged water pipes and cisterns of there multiple occupancy hovels and sub lets that they inhabit.Using his skills honed as a minor electoral official under the 1960's socialist Wilson government, he has gathered about him a large electoral college of voters who are willing to place their future in his large calloused and nicotine stained, muscular bear like hands.
It has been proposed that the new post of Mayor and Alderman of Middlesex will enable the Mayor to collect various tithes and benefices from the local populace, in particular will be able to charge an additional Community charge on those households with more than one vehicle (holder of office excluded), more than eight letters in there surname and also those with an income in excess of fifty thousand pounds or property worth in excess of four hundred thousand pounds.
Little Legs Parks has set within his manifesto a promise to redistribute theses funds to the Eastern European plague swarming the forests and open spaces of Middlesex, although he has withheld his true intention to utilise the funds by establishing a string of cut price massage parlours and brothels, utilising and specialising in those of a diminutive stature, throughout his constituency.
Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff has sworn to oppose the diminutive plumber and after obtaining details of his plan to operate a string of PORG massage parlours and brothels for people of restricted growth, has avowed to die rather allow the diminutive plinbers parlous plan to succeed.
A full meeting of the "Mayoral and Alderman" sub section of the Duck Flat Cap Society debating sub committee will take place next Wednesday, when both Driver Chard and Commie "Little Legs Parks" will put forward their amended manifesto's for approval or dismissal, of a request for a DFCS political donation and continued funding.
Further details will be leaked in due course.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
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| COMMIE "LITTLE LEGS" PARKS |
Diminutive plumber and part time lumberjack, Littler Legs Parks, has caused an outrage in the quiet gentrified suburbs of North West London, by challenging Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff, acting President and Chairman of the Duck Flat Cap Society, for the office of Mayor.
The office of "Mayor and Alderman of Middlesex" has been empty for over a hundred years due to the gradual absorption of the "Middle Saxon" county of Middlesex in to the metropolis of Greater London.
Recent events throughout Great Britain regarding political devolution to the various regions of the UK, have resulted in the re establishment of the post of "Mayor and Alderman of Middlesex", and Driver Chard was believed to be the favourite candidate for the post.
However, Little Legs Parks has shocked the local electorate by revealing his candidacy as a fully paid up member of the Independent Communist Party of Rayner's Lane and Middlesex (ICPRLM).
This recently created outpost of alleged Marxist, Turdoxian and Maoist opinion, has manifested itself throughout the suburban hinterland of the former fabled "Metroland", due to increased immigration, emigration and in particular, a massive influx of Eastern Europeans from former communist countries.
These peoples having settled here believing in the myth of an easy living under the UK's social benefit system, have discovered the reality of living in a crippled state, and now long for the former protection afforded by their former communist masters.
Little Legs Parks has listened to these Eastern migrants as he employs them on sub minimum wages, whist attending to the damaged water pipes and cisterns of there multiple occupancy hovels and sub lets that they inhabit.Using his skills honed as a minor electoral official under the 1960's socialist Wilson government, he has gathered about him a large electoral college of voters who are willing to place their future in his large calloused and nicotine stained, muscular bear like hands.
It has been proposed that the new post of Mayor and Alderman of Middlesex will enable the Mayor to collect various tithes and benefices from the local populace, in particular will be able to charge an additional Community charge on those households with more than one vehicle (holder of office excluded), more than eight letters in there surname and also those with an income in excess of fifty thousand pounds or property worth in excess of four hundred thousand pounds.
Little Legs Parks has set within his manifesto a promise to redistribute theses funds to the Eastern European plague swarming the forests and open spaces of Middlesex, although he has withheld his true intention to utilise the funds by establishing a string of cut price massage parlours and brothels, utilising and specialising in those of a diminutive stature, throughout his constituency.
Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff has sworn to oppose the diminutive plumber and after obtaining details of his plan to operate a string of PORG massage parlours and brothels for people of restricted growth, has avowed to die rather allow the diminutive plinbers parlous plan to succeed. A full meeting of the "Mayoral and Alderman" sub section of the Duck Flat Cap Society debating sub committee will take place next Wednesday, when both Driver Chard and Commie "Little Legs Parks" will put forward their amended manifesto's for approval or dismissal, of a request for a DFCS political donation and continued funding.
Further details will be leaked in due course.
R.I.P JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020
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