MAJOR “RAY THE DUST” IN INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION GIG
Overweight failed karaoke singer and part time dust cart
operative, Ray the Dust, has shocked the membership of the Duck Flat Cap
Society by claiming that he is to record a version of “Mustang Sally” aboard
the International Space Station.
The Dust claims that he will be assisted in this outrageous
enterprise by his fellow dust cart side kick, “Pepe Sick Note Le Puke” and
their corpulent companion “Good Boy Ince”.
The sad trio are currently preparing for their forthcoming
adventure by bulking up on their weight and body fluids to ensure that they
compensate for the weightless gravity of the space station.
Although believed to have retired from the seedy back room
karaoke circuit, Ray the Dust has divulged to the Consumption and Aeronautical
subcommittee of the DFCS that he has been secretly training for this event whilst
recuperating from his latest bout of occupational “Stress” brought on by
working for an indulgent and strenuous five consecutive days, by sunning his
overweight lard arse on the Costa del Dust.
It is thought that having repaired his relationship with
Sticky Vicky, the Dust has been slipping in to the bars and clubs of Benidorm,
and sharing the stage with the septuagenarian temptress.
It is not known whether the would be astronauts have
successfully secured their passage on the I.S.S, but Ray the Dust is adamant that
a Kazakhstan businessman he met in Benidorm will smooth the way to their berths
in the Russian Launch vehicle for the down payment of £5,000 and a copy of
their forthcoming "You Tube" release, DVD,
CD , free downloading rights, and 10 minutes private access to Pepe Le
Puke, a tub of lard and a pair of cucumbers.
The Duck Flat Cap Society is to monitor the progress of this
outrageous scheme and will report further in due course.
No comments:
Post a Comment