A CHRISTMAS PARTY

 A CHRISTMAS PARTY

 Cancelled.

ODE TO MCKENNA

 ODE TO MCKENNA

Mad Mo McKenna was a mild mannered man, with a love of stamps, coins and fine bone china.

At an early age he had learnt the art of the one liner,

And his dress sense couldn't be finer.

Ni.

Hootenanny, haggis is finer.

Tartan is fine but not for a dyner.

                                          Ni.

                                          Nini Ni....

                                         Thus the start of an another day in rural Toxadenia began, with a wing and a                                                 wang and a fermented stang............mmmmm! 

THE MIRE YEARS - WAS IT ALL A DREAM ?

 THE MIRE YEARS - WAS IT ALL A DREAM ?

Drunken days and nights rolled in to one huge humming dystopian epoch, characterise memories of the Mitre. .......

Damp cheese and onion rolls and pickled eggs fermenting in specimen bottles perched on the bar. Just what you need on a Saturday afternoon as you start your all-day session.

Sunday lunchtime drinks, with peanuts, crisps and roast potatoes located strategically on the bar. 

Sticky carpet and beer splashed stools at the bar. The dart board surrounded by hundreds of pricks and the pool table ready for the next 50p.

Discuss !

THE FOOTBINDERS DAUGHTER

 THE FOOTBINDERS DAUGHTER

Sui Sun was not wealthy. As mother of a single child and a carer for her elderly parents, she was unable to live an active life.

Her father had been the official foot binder to the court of the Emperor Ni, but had fallen on bad times after failing to correctly bind the foot of the Emperors youngest daughter Ni Ni.

 Expelled from the Forbidden City and the Emperors court, Sui Sun's  father, Sun Sui, was effectively a non person and reduced to the status of a shit shoveller. Unable to ply his trade, Sui Suns father soon became little more than a dishevelled caricature of his former self. It was a this time that he met his wife to be, and began there matrimonial courtship. 

After a short engagement the wedding took place in a small mountain village notable for the quality of its inhabitants feet. The average toe structure in the village was remarked to be on a level higher than that of the Gods.

 Indeed  XI Xan Toesuker remarked in his infamous journal that the villagers had feet like angels but stank like feted sewers. It was in to this village of the feted but angelic feet, that Sui Sun was born.

She attended the local village school from the age of four and learnt the basic skills of needlework, corn grinding and cleaning. However, due to a random discovery of a long forgotten foot binding kit in her fathers hovel, she started to practice the art of foot binding whilst locked in her corner of the family home whilst supposedly darning garments and spinning twine on a dilapidated wheel. 

After a short while she soon realised that she had an inbred skill that had been held latent by her circumstance. Foot binding was to be her way out of her current predicament and the road to enlightenment and riches. 

To be continued.....