3."MITRE BOYS ON TOUR" - MIJA MISSION PATPOSSIBLE - PART 3

3. "MITRE BOYS ON TOUR" - MIJA MISSION PATPOSSIBLE - PART 3

Having completed their ablutions, the merry band of ageing mitorians decamped to the local hostelry and started to imbibe the local ales and imported ciders. It was not long before El Mac was engaged in a one way conversation with a doppelganger, but after fifteen minutes Nigel O relived the lookalike from his embarrassment, and returned El Mac to his seat.

After a swift couple of ales, they were joined by their female counterparts who quickly decided that it was time to depart for the local citadel and an appointment with battered Mediterranean cod, mushy peas, curry sauce, brown sauce, tomato sauce, chips and cheesy chips.

Sue quickly switched her apparel to that of a chauffeur and was soon ferrying the first batch of fish fiends to the allotted restaurant in the old town of Mija. As Big Jack,Lou,The Horse, Horsess and Don Pat rearranged the tables at least three times, the first pints of cider and lager were brought to the tables. Shortly Nigel O,Sue, El Mac and Sue the chauffeur arrived at the table, enabling the food to be ordered.

Ignoring the numerous mobile phone calls requesting Sue to pick up additional party goers and other regular users of the Don Pat Taxi service, the food was soon eaten and the drinks consumed. Sue quickly replaced her drivers cap upon her head, and was soon relaying members of the still sober "A Team" back towards their luxurious accommodation and the warmth and comfort of the adjacent bar that they had imbibed in earlier. A few hardy individuals decided to walk the short distance back to the bar and soon Big Jack and the Horse were striding out at an exuberant and jaunty pace, with Lou, Mags the Horsess, Nigel O and Sue O galloping lamely some fifty strides behind. Eventually, the marching band reached the Bar where they rejoined Don Pat, Sue and El Mac.  

With the wind now blowing a at gale force, the ensemble decided to be seated within the premises and after further shuffling and moving of tables all were seated and drinking their chosen tipple. At this stage Nigel O remembered that El Mac was still outside in the storm force winds, with his remaining hair threatening to create an ad hoc Bobby Charlton comb-over. Having collected Mac from the teeth of a gale, (but not of a comb), the serious drinking could begin, and another round was ordered.

Before long the weak willed women decided that it was time for bed and retreated to their apartments for sleep and a cup of tea. Big Jack, acting as Don Pats number two, accompanied the ladies to the entrance portal and after entering the appropriate digital code the external doors to the complex opened allowing the woman to enter. Having checked that they were within the sealed complex, Big Jack returned to the awaiting brethren.

As the palm trees outside the bar bent at an acute angle due to the increased intensity of the winds, Don Pat finished his two hundredth fag of the day, and explained that the bar was about to close, as it was not yet high season in this fashionable but somewhat dry resort. So after quickly consuming a further three pints each, we returned to our bijou accommodation to continue swilling on the wind swept balcony of Don Pats Penthouse gaff.

However, the atmospheric and bodily winds were making it difficult to stay seated and so with much ill feeling it was agreed to suspend proceedings and resume in the morning.   

To be continued.......

2."MITRE BOYS ON TOUR" - MIJA MISSION PATPOSSIBLE - PART 2

2. "MITRE BOYS ON TOUR" - MIJA MISSION PATPOSSIBLE - PART 2

After running the Madrid airport marathon for seniors, Senor Don Pat and his entourage boarded the minuscule aircraft for the onward journey to his hide-out in the sun.

The "A team" attempted to settle into their seats but were interrupted by Mac trying to stuff his oversized hand luggage into the overhead lockers. After assistance from the convivial but Hispanic speaking cabin crew, Mac attempted to stash his bag on his seat and sit on it. However, his lofty perch was soon spotted by the over enthusiastic cabin crew and soon a hand to hand struggle was enacted between, Nigel O, Mac and a squeaky speaking Spanish lady-boy.

After a minute of pushing and shoving the bag was placed at the feet of Nigel O, but this was considered inappropriate by the Spanish gestapo, and soon the bag was being manhandled from the plan to be placed in the hold with the other over sized bags. Whilst this commotion was taking place, the ground staff had systematically loaded and unloaded the hold luggage on three occasions, whilst conceivably looking for contraband in Macs underpants, but eventually with a swoosh of the hands and the muttering of adios, the hold was sealed and with the elastic bands fully wound up, the miniature aircraft taxied for take-off.

After ascending in to the sky over Madrid and taking in the sights of the local sewage plant, the plane was selling a selection of beverages as the entire plane queued to relieve themselves in the only bog, which was located at the rear of the plane adjacent to Mac and close to Lou and Sue O. Soon Lou was chatting up the only octogenarian Irish hippy onboard and was soon quarreling with Sue O over who would have the honour of holding him upright whilst he waited to expel the Guinness from his system.

 Eventually, with both of our heroins having pocketed his telephone number the balsa plane was approaching the welcoming tarmac of Malaga Airport. Cabin Crew to Cross Check bellowed the intercom as the cabin crew stared at each other trying to interpret the message. Finally the message was repeated in Latin, and the crew strapped themselves in to there seats for the landing procedure.

After taxing to a halt some hundred meters from the terminal, we awaited our release which was granted after a sweaty and uncomfortable wait. We levered our aching bodies from our seats and climbed down the steep steps in to the Andalusian sun. Passing through passport control without showing any identification, we were soon met by Manuel who was to drive us to our hideout.  After a short delay of approximately forty five minutes whilst the "puffing billy's" in our group smoked a couple of dozen fags each, we were bombing down the highway towards Calla Mija and our luxurious retreat. Pat and Sue had left us at the airport so as to collect their transport and were soon drawing up at our destination just as our own chariot arrived.

After allowing Mac to get out of the boot, we collected our baggage and decamped to the accommodation so as to ready our tired bodies for the heavy night of drinking that was ahead of us. After a couple of dumps we were ready.......

To be continued...