VIKINGS SET TO RESUME RAIDING THE BRITISH ISLES

VIKINGS SET TO RESUME RAIDING THE BRITISH ISLES

Viking raiders from across the North Sea are set to resume their blood curdling attacks of the British Isles, if reports reaching the Duck Flat Cap Society are to be believed..

This anticipated surge in Nordic violence and savagery, will allegedly be the direct result of increased pressure on the peoples of Scandinavia and northern Europe due to the continuing collapse of the European economy.

The evidence for this resurgence of Nordic violence is held by the acting president and Chairman of the Duck Flat Cap Society, Driver Chard Of El Hadj Duif, who recently received a set of documents from and old part Norwegian army colleague, Thor "The Hammer" Wodenson, with whom he served in the armed forces whilst completing his national service in Egypt. 

The documentation was received together with a roughly hewn rock, that had ancient Runic script engraved upon it. Driver Chard was entranced by the encrypted rock and had taken the object to an antiquarian acquaintance who had deciphered the Runic description with amazing results.

After pouring each other large glasses of whisky and soda water, the two old septuagenarian crossword enthusiasts sat down next to the fire and started to write down the translated text.

As the lexicographer scibbled his way across the sheet of A4 croxley paper, Driver Chard suddenly sat bolt upright in his chair as if struck down by a seizure.

He stared at the script with glazed eyes as he mouthed the extraordinary communication.

"We, the bear like warriors of the north, will rise from our slumbers and follow the god's of thunder and war across the grey sea, so as to reclaim the lands that our fellow brethren conquered when the northern sea's were the home of the Norseman. We will rise when the continent of Europe is at unrest after the onset of two pointless continental struggles and the resulting peace is riven asunder by the greed of the Frankish and Germanic race's".

The documentation accompanying the Runic rock consisted of a sheet of parchment inscribed with a Latin script which spoke of a unholy alliance of Valhalla, Loki and Lucifer that would awaken the Viking nations from hundreds of years of slumber and  woolly sweaters, and unite the Scandinavian nation in a blood fest of re conquest.

It went on to allege that across the slumbering nations of Scandinavia secret covens of Loki and satanic enthusiasts had secretly been meeting and plotting the return of the horned  and winged helmeted hoards to ransack the peaceful churches, monasteries, Abbeys, Villages and towns of England and Northern France.  

Indeed a casual look at the newspapers and news casts of the recent Scandinavian past will reveal that a massacre of Norwegian children has recently taken place, conducted by a young mad man who has demonic thoughts and rabid nationalist views.

The documentation goes on to allege that this mad maverick is not alone, and is indeed a loose canon who had recently been expelled from the resurgent Viking brotherhood that awaits the re conquest of the British Isles.

After reviewing the evidence, Driver Chard of El Hadj Duiff has decided to conduct his own investigation in to the alleged Viking insurgency, and will soon be embarking on a trip to Oslo with fellow Duck Flat Cap Society members, Dave the Teach and Ex Military hard man and sexologist Basher Hurley, who will help the ageing septuagenarian research the Viking underworld that is believed to inhabit the Scandinavian hinterland.

Upon their return, a full meeting of the Duck Flat Cap Society Anthropological and Norseman sub section will take place and will take a vote on whether evasive action is to be taken in view of the suspected heathen invasion. At this stage Dave the Duck will also attempt to explain the sudden demise of Chelsea FC.

Further reports will be published in due course.

R.I.P   JOHN CHARD 1933 - 2020

ANSCHLUSS - THE EURO'S FINAL SOLUTION !

ANSCHLUSS - THE EURO'S FINAL SOLUTION !

Recent events in Europe concerning the "Euro", the common currency adopted by seventeen members of the  European Union (EU), have rekindled interest in a allegedly historic aim of Germany, political union with the separate states and then the subjugation of the rest of Europe.   

The EU is currently a Economic / trade and customs union of twenty seven separate sovereign nations, that have evolved from the earlier European Coal and Steel Community and the European Economic Community (EEC).

The original members of the organisation were the war ravaged states of Western Germany and France, together with the three smaller Benelux states, Belgium, Luxembourg and Holland (The Netherlands).

Recent documents uncovered in Potsdam by the "Duck In the Pond" History and Politics Archive section indicate that the German nation has been hell bent of subjugating France, The Austrian "Habsburg" Empire, and the remainder of continental Europe ever since the creation of the original German Customs Union "the Zollverein" in 1834.

The Franco Prussian war was a pre cursor of Germany's resolve to prosper from the administration of the  wider European hinterland, and the aggression shown towards Metternich and the Austrian Empire's refusal to join in the creation of a united Germany, also hinted at this Pan European master plan.

The documents allegedly uncovered at Potsdam indicate that the German authorities overall aim was to merge the states of Europe in to a mega greater Germany, whist excluding the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland due its Empire creating a greater industrial and naval strength than Prussia and the other German states could muster. The German eye was  heavily placed upon the western agricultural lands of France and the never ending plains and grasslands stretching to the east, through Poland and Imperial Russia.

Indeed,the rebirth of an expanded  "Carolingian Empire", the empire of the mighty "Charlemagne", the first German Reich, which had been re constituted as the weak "Holy Roman Empire" for centuries until dissolved in 1806,was the ultimate goal of the German political and Royal elite.

Indeed, the papers allegedly indicate that although the German plan to expand at the expense of the rest of Europe were still in place at the break out of the First World War,the United Kingdoms entrance in to the conflict abruptly ended the current expansionist plans of the Kaiser.

Again, in the build up to the second world war, Hitler was anxious not to involve the United Kingdom, and hoped that France would not stand in the way of "Lebensraum", German expansion in to the East . The fellow Germans in the truncated state of Austria, which was all that was left over from the multi national Austro Hungarian Habsburg Empire, were expected to follow the lead of Germany.
Indeed the actual "Anschluss" with Austria, though forced upon Austria in 1938, took place as originally envisaged by Bismark and the Kaiser when Germany finally became  a unified state back in 1871 with the creation of the second Reich.

Events after that calamitous union and the subsequent absorption of Sudaten Checkoslavakia are well documented, but not so widely reported are the continued wishes of the German state to to control the populace of Europe.

Thus, we now reach the current state of affairs, where the richest and strongest nation in Europe is the once again a powerful re-united Germany ,who wishes to bully and cheat the rest of Europe out of their collective historical, political and monetary heritage, so as to sustain the continued plan of German Hegemony in Continental Europe.

The current negotiations between the weak premier of France and the other head burying heads of state, will result in a political and monitory union that covers the majority of Continental Europe, and thus achieving what Bismark, the Kaiser and Hitler failed in achieving over the last 150 years.

The Duck In the Pond History and Politics sub committee will continue to study the recently uncovered documents, and will hold  a vote on whether to adopt the Euro as the societies official currency in the new year.