TO WASSAIL OR NOT TO WASSAIL

WASSAIL - Meaning:

Celebrate noisily, often indulging in drinking; engage in uproarious festivities

Its a little known fact that the original draft of Shakespeare's famous soliloquy from Hamlet omitted the words "To be or not to be" and included "To Wassail or not to Wassail" as detailed in the draft below.

"To Wassail or not to Wassail– that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of Lager
And, by opposing, end them. To die, to drink
No more – and by a drink to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to – ‘tis a consummation of Lager"

So that was what Will Shaksprear was writing about !, young Prince Hamlet was dying for a pint of lager and a cigar !.

Although not my own view, it has allegedly long been rumoured that Shakespeare was a recovering alcoholic who had been blinding drunk whilst writing Hamlet and his history plays.

Indeed, although never confirmed, it has allegedly been stated by more than one historian that Henry V was originally written by our balding hero whilst recovering from a bout of melancholia brought on by a quart bottle of Absinthe and a temporary ban from the local stews ! .



Well, to answer Wills original question... im off to Wassail.......!

IS THIS SHIT ?

Manura Manyah
Matt McGinn

I've heard men complain
O' the job that they're da'in',
While howkin' the coal
Or diggin'a drain;
But whoever they are
There is nane to compare
Wi' a man that is shovellin'
Manura Manyah.
CHORUS:
Wi manura manyah, wi' manura manyah,
Wi' manura, manura, manura manyah.

Oh, the streets o' the toon
Were all covered aroon
Wi' stuff that is lovely
An' golden and broon.
It was put there, of course
By a big Clydesdale horse
An' its name was manura, manura manyah.
CHORUS:

I followed its track
Wi' a shovel an' sack
And as often as not
Wi' a pain in my back.
It was all for the rent
An' the beautiful scent
O' manura, manura, manura manyah.
CHORUS:

But I'm feelin' so sore
For my job's been took o'er
An' everything now is mechanical po'er
An' there's nowt left for me
But the sweet memory
O' manura, manura, manura manyah.
CHORUS:

O' manura, manura, manura manyah.
CHORUS:

THE REAL COMMONWEALTH GAMES - CIRCA 1645

THE REAL COMMONWEALTH GAMES - CIRCA 1645

As we sit in front of our televisions, computers or hand held communication devices, viewing the Commonwealth games in New Delhi India, don't forget that the current normally accepted meaning of "The Commonwealth", being the fading remnant of the British Empire, has not always been prevalent.

During the mid seventeenth century the nations of England, Scotland, Ireland together with the principality of Wales, were subjected to the terrors of the Cromwellian "Commonwealth".

During the Civil War between the Cromwellian "Round heads" and those loyal to the Crown, the King was defeated and subsequently killed at the behest of "Parliament" and Oliver Cromwell. At this time the rule of the land was conducted with brutal force and with particular relish against so called "Witches".

Quote: -

"The largest witch-hunt in English history was held between 1645 and 1647, led by the self-appointed Witchfinder General, Matthew Hopkins. Hopkins was a failed lawyer with no real legal qualifications, who made it his mission to rid East Anglia of witches.

Witch-hunting really took off in England after Henry VIII passed a statute against witchcraft in 1542. Over the next 200 years, around 1000 people, mostly women, were hanged for practising witchcraft. Across the border in Scotland, they were even more witch-hunt crazy, finding 4000 witches guilty. Unlike their English cousins, these unfortunates were burnt at the stake.

It was usually women who were accused of witchcraft. They were seen as the morally weaker sex and so more likely to fall under the devil’s spell. It was often even said that witches had sex with the devil. They were also supposed to have ‘imps’ or ‘familiars’ that they would suckle from demonic teats. These teats were called ‘witch marks’ or ‘devil marks’ and were used as evidence to convict suspected witches. Other marks of the devil were allegedly hidden under moles, scars or birthmarks. 

Hopkins began his work in his own village of Manningtree in Essex in 1645, when he accused seven ‘witches’ of trying to kill him by conjuring up the devil in the shape of a wild bear. Hopkins said he had also overheard them talking to their imps. After finding 30 more witches in the area, the self-proclaimed Witchfinder General held trials all over East Anglia. At a time when the average wage was two pence a day, Hopkins was paid 20 shillings for each witch he found and convicted. He was allowed to run riot because of the Civil War, a turbulent time of political and religious chaos."

Quote: -"Torture was illegal, so Hopkins and his colleagues used other methods to encourage their suspects to confess. They were made to sit on a stool for 24 hours or more with no sleep, while ‘watchers’ observed in case their ‘imps’ appeared. With serious sleep deprivation is it any wonder that women confessed to consorting with the devil? Ducking was another favourite way of testing a witch. If she drowned she was innocent, if she lived she was guilty and then hanged."

Quote:-
"Over the next two years Hopkins was responsible for the execution of 200 women found guilty of witchcraft. A lot of these ‘witches’ were widows or spinsters, accused of devilish acts by their neighbours. By 1647, people were becoming tired of Hopkins' hunt and some villages refused him entry. Opinions are divided over Hopkins' own fate. Some believe he himself was found guilty of dealing with the devil and was hanged like his victims. Others think he returned to Manningtree in Essex and died of tuberculosis in 1647."

Don't forget, these activities all took place during the period in English History known as the "Interregnum" in some circles or more commonly as the"Commonwealth" when the King had been deposed and beheaded and the country was ruled by the despotic "Lord Protector" Oliver Cromwell, who had been a simple farmer before the Civil War.

So as we moan that we are not collecting enough gold and silver medals at the Delhi games, spare a thought for those unfortunate woman of circa 1665 who were sacrificed to enable the English "Commonwealth Games" Witchfinding competitor, Mathew Hopkins, stack up a huge collection of "Gold" (coins) for his fearless winning streak in East Anglia.

A Debilitating Affliction or a Priceless Gift?

A Debilitating Affliction or a Priceless Gift?

A debilitating affliction is currently sweeping London and effecting a large proportion of those who choose to travel by public transport.

It seems to attack those who are not of an Anglo Saxon or Celtic background, and consists of an overwhelming need to shout loudly and hurriedly in to a Mobile telephone using a language that is unfamiliar to those who are native to these Islands.

It usually manifests itself on the upper levels of London Transport buses and can continue for at least 20 minutes without interruption. It also seems to effect the bodily functions of those afflicted as arms and heads are often seen to wave around in an uncontrolled manor, whilst the mobile babble continues in in full flow.

So,if travelling on a London Transport Omnibus or indeed the London Underground Tube, please do not become annoyed or upset by the cacophony of speech spilling from the pathological lips of the afflicted, but feel sorry for them, turn away, count to ten, and and count yourself lucky that you have not fallen foul of this cruel and debilitating disease.