CREEPING HORSE WILLIAMSON AND BLIND BOY MOSELEY GO TO TOWN - PART 1

CREEPING HORSE WILLIAMSON AND BLIND BOY MOSELEY GO TO TOWN - PART 1

The small back room was filled with putrid smoke and the static hiss of electronic amplifiers humming in the background.

Creeping Horse Williamson sat at the bar on his usual stool, smoking a cheroot and drinking a double scotch and coke from a cracked pint glass. His sunglasses were precariously lodged on the crook of his humongous nose and continuously threatened to slip off and fall to the sweat stained bar surface.

Blind Boy Moseley sat next to him playing a Braille Harmonica, gaily swinging his head from side to side and tapping his white stick in rhythm to the sweet martial tune emanating from his harmonica. Martial music had been his staple since learning to play the instrument whilst apprenticed to the local undertaker in Sevastopol Under Cliffe , his home village in the Ukraine.

They both slowly turned towards the rickety stage located at the far end of the room, there attention having been drawn by the shuffling of stagehands moving their equipment in to place on the stage. Creeping Horse Williamson immediately noted that his favourite Boxcar guitar was missing and that it had been replaced by a long necked Sitar draped with a garland of of orange honeysuckle.

His thoughts quickly turned to events some thirty years earlier when he performed impromptu performances for the Sultan of Zanzibar in the Jozani Forest and then on to the white sands of his private beach in Stone Town. Whilst strumming his Sitar under a clove tree and sipping a rum punch he noticed what he thought was a sack of mango's on the beach, but after further inspection he was amazed to find that the sack was in fact a human being laying unconscious in the sand.

 After kicking the body to see if it was alive, he noticed a trickle of urine running from the prone bodies groin and proceeded to provide mouth to mouth resuscitation to revive the dehydrated  body laying at his feet. It was only after dusting down the unfortunate person and standing him upright, that he noticed that it was non other than his long time buddy and fellow musician, Blind Boy Moseley.

After coming round and reaching a state of semi consciousness, Blind  Boy Moseley explained that he had been travelling on a tramp steamer that was exporting blood diamonds from Cape Town to Aden, when he was put ashore at Stone Town Zanzibar. He was assigned by the captain of the steamer to obtain a number of Congolese pygmies to be used as cabin boys aboard ship.

However, after stumbling in to the Jozani Forest after imbibing too many Coconut punches, he fell in to the clutches of a gang of juvenile Red Colobus monkeys, who imprisoned him in their den for refusing to share his alcoholic supplies. Having missed the sailing of the tramp steamer he remained within the confines of the forest and started a relationship with a mature Red Colobus monkey that lasted a number of months until she left him due to his inability to swing from the forest branches.

Having established how and why he was in Zanzibar, the old friends reminisced as to how they had originally become friends back in North Wembley in North West London, England.

There joint thoughts were soon entangled in distant memories of playing a hectic set at the Hop Bine in the early 1950's, and the particular antics of Dave "Twinkle Toes" Buckland who performed the first ever "triple toe bop" routine, during a heaving Monday evening Hep Cat and roustabout rendezvous club night.

After hours of melodious fun, the musicians in arms had retired to the "Zoot Club" near to Regents Park, London, which was established within the confines of London Zoo. It was at this venue that Blind Boy Moseley first acquired his taste for Colobus monkeys after he stumbled in to an enclosure in the early hours of the morning whilst the keepers mucked out the stockade and provided food for the inhabitants.
This particular night ended with them both waking up in Kilburn nick, but both escaped prosecution due to the charging officers love of there musical attributes and a large bribe paid in petrol vouchers and tickets to future gigs at the Hop Bine, National and Galtymore.

Returning to the present, the old musicians slowly took there places on the stage and began to tune up the Sitar and harmonica in preparation of the gig. The gig had been arranged by "Lord Burlington of the Arcade" and was taking place in The Carlton Lodge, a seedy drinking den adjacent to the John Lyon public house on the borders of Sudbury, North Wembley and Harrow in the county of Middlesex, situated to the North West of London in the UK.

The guest of honour was to be "Doctor Doyle", a shady figure who was involved with both  British Intelligence agencies and Fee Irish groups in Ireland. He was normally accompanied by Pat"The Pope"Cannister, a semi literate and partially retired overweight builder with a penchant for strong Cider,Vodka and a hundred fags a day.

As the assembled gathering prepared for the musical feast about to befall them, the door of the Lodge opened and all tuned in amazement to notice that.........

To be continued.  

BARRELING ALONG - A SHORT HISTORY OF THE ELLIOTT FAMILY OF COOPER'S

BARRELING ALONG - A SHORT HISTORY OF THE ELLIOTT FAMILY OF COOPER'S

Before the union of England and Scotland in 1707 and the creation of the United Kingdom, the border area between England and Scotland was populated by bands of families collectively known as the "Border Reivers". These families were basically cattle and sheep rustlers who continually raided farms and farmsteads on both side of the border stealing livestock for profit and food. There were numerous families including the Armstrong's, Scott, Little , Irving, Bell, Graham, Johnston and Elliot(t). Each of these families are also registered Clans under the ancient Scottish system of Clanship.

However, after the union of England and Scotland there was in effect no border to raid across, and the new King of the newly created United Kingdom, particularly as he was Scottish, stamped his authority on the raiders and soon made there trade uneconomical and dangerous to the liberty of the clan members. As a result the families were forced to make a living by alternative means, and as a result, the bulk of the Elliott family relocated to the nearest population centre, being Newcastle.

The Elliott's will have been employed in a number of various manually intense industries, and a review of the Post Offices registers confirm that in the 1880's Newcastle still had the highest percentage of Elliott surnames in the country.  The second highest concentration was around Derby and the third Plymouth. These places indicate that initially the majority of Elliott's were either employed as coal miners working the coal seams in North East England and the peak district, or working  the ports of Newcastle and Plymouth as Coopers and lightermen. As Coopers, family members were also often employed by brewery's, preparing the various casks and barrels required for the wholesale, distribution and sales of the beer trade. (Traditionally, a cooper is someone who makes wooden, staved vessels, bound together with hoops and possessing flat ends or heads. Examples of a cooper's work include casks, barrels, buckets, tubs, butter churns, hogsheads, firkins, tierces, runlets, puncheons, pipes, tuns, butts, pins and breakers.)

As a major producer of coal, Newcastle would distribute its coal supplies to the rest of England via ship, and would have been transported either in bulk, or in wooden barrels which represented the only other container for shipping goods to a point of sale or for further distribution. It seems that the Elliott's followed the vessels to the major ports of Plymouth and London, who in the 1880, according to the Royal Post Office, had the third and fourth highest populations of Elliott's. It should also be noted that Plymouth and London both had close connections with the Royal Navy, who had a very high requirement for Coopers so that provisions were stored within barrels upon the ships in the worlds largest and most powerful fleet.

It was for this reason that a branches of the family was to move to Greenwich and Chatham in Kent, so as to service the Royal Dockyards. Additional areas in London populated by the Elliott's included Rotherhithe, servicing  the wharves, small docks and numerous landing stations and stairs, Poplar, Stepney, Shoreditch, Limehouse, St Georges parish and Hoxton. In all cases, the men of the family were Coopers either working directly at the various docks located in east and south London, or Brewery's who were numerous and often located near to the rivers Thames and Lee, and close to docks and wharves.

Located near to Plymouth were a large concentration of Elliott's who settled along the coasts of Devon and Cornwall, and were involved in seafaring and the Cooping trade. A particular branch of the family (styled with one L and one T) were in fact ennobled as Earls of St Germains, situated at Port Eliot and St Germains in what was then Devon and is now Cornwall after boundary changes in the mid 1800's. However, this branch of the family appears to have had little connection to the rest of the Elliott family in the west country, and although Elliott's were located in the Millbrook and Maker villages situated on the Rame peninsular close to Port Eliot and St Germains, there is no blood link that is traceable to today's genealogists.

Indeed, William Elliott born 1785 in Maker and married to Ann Jenkins born 1785 in Maker, moved to the Shoreditch / Hoxton area of London when their son William Elliott (born 1817 in Maker) was a young man so that they could continue their trade as Coopers within the hustle and bustle of London's expanding ports and docks. Williams sisters Nancey and Cordelia, who had both been born in Maker came with them, and further siblings Emma and James were born in London's St George in the East Parish.



William Elliott (1817) married Ann Collett who was born 1817 in Uxbridge Middlesex, at the young age of 16 and had a child in 1836 named William (St George in the East), followed by Ann 1938 (Shoreditch), Charles 1841 (Hoxton), Henry 1843 (Hoxton), Emma 1845 (Hoxton), Lucy 1847 (Hoxton), James 1849 (Shoreditch), Cordelia 1850 (Hoxton), George 1852 (Hoxton), Alice 1854 (Hoxton), Frederick 1856 (Chatham), Alfred 1858 (Chatham), Alice 1860 (Chatham) and Robert 1864 (Limehouse).  William and all the males were Coopers, working in wharves and brewery's or alternatively "Lightermen", involved with loading goods on and off ships either on the Thames or its docks.
As can be seen from the various places of birth,Williams family moved from St George in the East, Middlesex (London) to Hoxton / Shoreditch, Middlesex (London) then to the shipyards and Royal docks of Chatham in Kent, and then back to Limehouse, Middlesex (London).  This was presumably to follow available work in the Coopers trade. The daughters married in to the following families - Soloman, Rotherham and Roberts, whilst the sons married the families of - Parker, Clifton, Leach, Donald, Roskruge and others. 

The locations that the various other members of the Elliott family lived and worked included Bermondsey, Deptford, Dover, Edmonton,Tottenham, Hackney, Rochester, Chatham, East Ham and other coastal or riverbank locations in Essex and Kent. During the 19th Century the following families were also married in to the extended Elliott family descended from William (1785) - Parke, Bourne, King, Stephens, Devon, Smith, Makeham, Longman, Lloyd, Sullivan, Wood, Savage, Rawbone, Sole, Doming, Davis, Sinclair, Allan, Bennett, Wilson, Tozer, Toms, Pearson, Waterson, Lynch, Maynard, Blake, Hendy, Chandler, Malt, Richardson, Tester, Read, Dimock, Knowles, Hatton, Crowley, Hooper, Field, Bull, Weir, Green, Richie, Pocknell, Chalkley, Ticehurst and others.  

Williams (1817) son, George Elliott (1852 Hoxton) married Anne Susan Donald (1859 Stepney) in 1877. Ann was part of a Scottish family, her father Charles Gordon Donald being born in Aberdeenshire, Scotland 1819, although her mother Eliza Longman was born in 1819 in Portsea, Hampshire, England. Charles Gordon Donald was a Ships Rigger, so although not a Cooper, was involved with an associated dockland trade.   George and Anne's children were George Morris Elliott (1877 London St Georges), John (1880 Limehouse), Charles (1888 Tottenham), Caroline (1890 Tottenham), Maud (1891 Edmonton), Edward (1893 Tottenham), Nellie (1896 Tottenham) and Rose (1898 Tottenham).

The eldest son, George Morris Elliott, a Cooper, married his cousin, Ellen Elliott (1879 Bermondsey) in 1900. Ellen's father, William (1839 St George in the East), was also a Cooper by trade, and the brother of Georges father. Ellen's mother was Jane Parker (1837 St Giles, Middlesex / London). Ellen was the youngest of ten children, with seven brothers who were all Coopers.



George Morris Elliott and Ellen lived at number 4, Seven step Alley, Rotherhithe, and had eight children - George Morris (1901 Rotherhithe), James (1903 Rotherhithe), Henry (1904 Rotherhithe), William (1905 Rotherhithe), Ellen (1908 Rotherhithe), Rosemary (1912 Rotherhithe), John (1917 Rotherhithe) and Alfred (1919 Rotherhithe). 

At this time of research it is not known if George,James, William, John and Alfred continued the family trade as Coopers, but with the onslaught of the first world war, the second world war and the vast modernisation of shipping procedures, including the closing of all the docks in central and East London, apart from the occasional requirements for a brewers cooper, there is little need for a Cooper, and  I can not see the family tradition continuing.

I know for certain that Henry was not a Cooper, and that he married Rose Baldwin Burnett (1905 Charlton, Kent / London) and had two children, Henry Tony and Derek. Neither Henry or Derek were Coopers and there own sons were also not called to the trade. I therefor suspect that the role of Cooper in the Elliott family is now over for ever. 

THE UNIFIED THEORY OF EVERYTHING AND NOTHING

THE UNIFIED THEORY OF EVERYTHING AND NOTHING

As you journey through space and time on your mission to oblivion, you may sometimes feel a small force on the nape of your neck that you are unable to equate with the known forces about you.  However, you soon dismiss this and quickly continue with your journey.

Your progress to any destination takes place through a myriad of electromagnetic and gravitational forces that you are oblivious too. Atoms smash in to and through your body without a flinch, and radioactive waves and pulses flow through your skin and bones as if they were passing through a vacuum.

However, ever so often you feel an urge to place your hand on the base of your neck as if a pinprick or tack had momentarily penetrated your dermis. The follicles on your neck stiffen and the sweat glands pump a sticky fluid that quickly coats your cooling neck. The muscles feel tense and may begin to twitch in an uncontrolled manner.

When this happens you have experienced the "Hand of Ni" and it is always there as it propels you and your destiny towards their final destination.

Recent research has revealed that numerous archaic monolithic standing stones located throughout the Atlantic seaboard of North Western Europe, are dedicated to a previously unknown entity known as "Ni".

Furthermore, leaked reports from a respected professor of Archeology and Speleology confirm that famous cave paintings located in South West France and the Pyrenees region, depict a previously unknown entity, whose name has been deciphered as "Ni"................


 To be continued.  

THE GREAT RIFT OF AFRICA

THE GREAT RIFT OF AFRICA

Dr Doyle, Maco and the Horse checked in to the Lodge and admired the magnificent view. Wildebeest, Warthogs and Elephants paraded just outside the camps perimeter, whilst Zebra, Rhino's and Baboons eyed us with prolonged stares.

The rooms were adequate but basic, with doors that could be bolted and light fittings powered by a generator. The power would be extinguished at midnight and candles were provided, but no matches.

After a visit to the restaurant, a dump and the consumption of a large quantity of Kilimanjaro lager and whisky, the intrepid trio retired to their huts.

Dr Doyle was in a separate suite that he had reserved so that he could service the local Masai and Bantu maidens.  As such his bungalow was in a different sector to the Horse and Mac's humble abode. The journey back to the sleeping quarters was accompanied by a 7 foot tall Masai guard who had a rifle to shoot Lions, Hyenas, or any other unofficial interlopers.

As Dr Doyle was flying in a specially strengthened Air Balloon the following morning and leaving at 5 am, we agreed to accommodate his luggage,  and take it with us for forward transmission deeper in to the dark continent.

As Mac and Horse slept in there unlocked corral, the door had been left unlocked in case the intrepid Doctor Doyle required his Trunk and luggage. After a few minutes slumber the door to the Horses and Macs hut was assailed by numerous interlopers attempting ingress to the chamber. Both lay awake fully aware that there sanctuary was about to be invaded by unknown entities fiddling with the door knob and handle.

An attempt to switch the lights on was foiled by the generator curfew inflicted by the lodge management. As each bold man of arms quivered in  bed, the Horse lept from his pit, and in pitch darkness moved to the door and flung it open ready to assault the dusky murderer intending to commit a murder most foul.

As the door flung open, the Horse froze as he stared in to the laughing face of a huge red and blue Baboon. After regaining his breath and chasing the offender in to the bush, the Horse retired to his bed and slept the sleep of a  thousand lagers.

The end.

A SHORT STOREY

The end.

THE BARBARION INVASION OF LAKE WINDERMERE AND THE SURROUNDING HINTERLAND - PART 1

THE BARBARIAN INVASION OF LAKE WINDERMERE AND THE SURROUNDING HINTERLAND

On a cold spring morning the large nosed blaggard who went by the name "Yardos the one ball" rose from his drunken slumber and walked across his fêted hut to release his vile putrid urine across the matted floor covering and splattered against the coarse wattle walls. His drinking Horn hung against his huge gut and lay next to half shriveled semi lob.

Having finished his morning piss and dressed in his finest battledress he left his hut and moved through the still morning air towards the large horse drawn cart that was parked at the end of the lane, adjacent to the Mitorian Ale house that had expelled he and his and his brave band of heathen brother’s only hours earlier. 

Carefully tucking his one ball in to his tight leggings he boarded the transport and conducted a head count of his fellow band of stinking, drunken, puke covered comrades at arms. A slow count of heads soon revealed that Doctorian Doylus, the mustachioed Horsingtonious of the fêted fart, Pattious Cannonious of the bigguis vodkanannius, Beuwloaf of the Meat, and many other brave battle horn hardened revelers were all aboard and ready for their attack on unsuspecting natives of the northern outpost of Scousepool.

The rabble were soon venturing north engaging in spirited banter and lighthearted pissing in the bottle, so as to relieve the boredom and bladders as the overflowing pig bladders and Drinking horns were attacked with venomous ease by the Mitorian Barbarian hoard.
Having reached their destination, the stinking hoard shuffled in to their lodgings reeking of stale piss and sweat.

Yardos "the one ball" and the Doc were soon bickering in the space given over for imbibing the local fermented grape and barley, whilst the spirited Cannonious negotiated with the tavern keeper for a humungous round of festering venomous brain killer.

Horsingtonious was stalking the premises looking for the nearest dunny so that his festering pants could unload a truly magnificent heap of coagulating muck so as to enable more of the glorious flowing nectar to enter his huge aching stomach.

To be continued..................

DR DOYLE AND THE HOG-JUDGE SLAUGHTERHOUSE BLUES

DR DOYLE AND THE HOG-JUDGE SLAUGHTERHOUSE BLUES

Silas rose early, having been woken by the incessant heavy rainfall and continuous squealing from the farmyard pig pen. His bedding consisting of old straw and a coarsely woven blanket, and was situated in an old hay loft.

After his ablutions and dressing in his fathers old overalls, he hurriedly descended the lofts ladder and crossed the muddy yard towards the slaughterhouse.

The pig pens were prudently located adjacent to the stinking slaughterhouse, and just across the way from the feted duck pond.

He scanned the scene and noted that the body of old man scaggs was still where he left it.Glancing across the pond he was sure he was alone, and began to lift the lifeless corpse from the butchers hook it had been hanging from overnight.

The coals from the smouldering fire below the lifeless carcass were still hot and the smoke continued to engulf the former judges skin, the hue having changed to a dark burnt yellow with a tinge of ochre.The skin was wrinkled and dry and ready for a  heavy sprinkling of salt.

Silas yanked at the chain attached to the hook and the body fell to the ground, scattering the ash and glowing coals in the fire. Reaching in to his breeches pocket, Silas pulled out a 9 inch hunting knife and began slicing hunks of flesh from the former Judges rump.

Twenty minutes later a small wooden container was full of warm flesh, slightly crispy on the outside but fleshy and moister on the reverse side.The salt and seasoning rubbed in to the flesh  had done its job, and after tasting a particularly fleshy lump, Silas considered the product was ready for consumption.

After quickly slicing the remaining flesh from the unfortunate late Judge's body, Silas placed the salted delicacy in the large freezer located in an adjacent warehouse. He then returned to the barn and after a quick brush-down and hand wash decided that it was time to go and visit Dr Doyle and arrange a profitable distribution of his produce.

Dr Doyle had first met Silas when attached to the Sister Crippen unit of Shenley Hospital for the mentally insane.

They had been active during the Spanish Civil War and had also operated behind enemy lines during operation Barbarossa. However, Dr Doyle was now an enthusiastic accomplice in the distribution of Silas's salty product, due his almost fanatical love of the snack.

To be continued...........